kaible:

caecilius-est-pater:

sarahruhlofficial:

the oompa loompas are a greek chorus

First of all, I hate this so much. Second of all, imagine if the two switched places.

(Veruca falls into the trash chute)
Chorus: Pray thou no more; for mortals have no escape from destined woe. Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness; and reverence towards the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows…

(Oedipus stabs his eyes out)
Oompa Loompas: Oompa loompa doopity do
I’ve got another riddle for you
What do you get when you sleep with your mum?
A curse on your kids for decades to come~

1) this is hysterical and 2) think about the eons of culture that have lead to the creation of this joke. I am humbled by this.

Turns out that listening to Eurielle’s Lament for Thorin and reading Sansukh at the same time is a stupid idea…

flamesburnonthemountainside:

What are all these tears D: @determamfidd you’re to blame for the sobbing mess I am right now! I’d forgotten how AMAZINGLY WELL Sansukh was written!!!!

image

OH BEAUTEOUS BATTLEPIG YOU ARE SOME SORT OF MASOCHIST I STG. first you bloody listened to Iron Hills on repeat while reading ch35, and now THIS 

Name Tag Game

I was tagged by @notanightlight! Hello, my dearest Nota. *hugs* 

Rules: Answer the questions with the first letter of your name, then tag 10 people. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use the same word twice.

As a personal challenge, I made this as FUCKIN AUSTRAYAN as I possibly could. Cheers, mate. 


name: Dets (you aren’t gettin my real name, nossir 😉

4-letter word: DICK

a boy’s name: DAZZA (i.e. Darren)

an occupation: Dunny Diver (i.e. a Plumber)

something you wear: Daks (i.e. Trousers)

a color: DENIM

a food: Damper

a place: Down Under

something you shout: dill brain

movie title: Don’s Party

something you drink: the dregs

an animal: Dingo

type of car: DATSUN SANDMAN omfg my childhood

title of a song: Don’t Dream It’s Over (Crowded House)


I tag: @poplitealqueen, @fuckthisimgoingtoerebor, @thudworm, @culturalrebel, @kailthia, @scarletjedi, @elenothar, @kazimakuwabara, @punsbulletsandpointythings, @featheredschist – and anyone else who’d like a go!

starry-dawn:

amurderof:

judgebunnie:

jewishdragon:

4setsofcorsets:

jewishdragon:

jewishdragon:

How To Read Sheet Music by Julian Cianciolo

I am extremely entertained by this

@phantasrs @wind

the accuracy

“COUNTING TO FIVE HAS NEVER BEEN SO HARD”

“If you’re reading this it’s already too late.”

“That is assuming you call notes what they actually are.”

“this note is the only fun thing about trombone” this is true

Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks

thriceandonce:

chestnut-podfic:

blue-author:

mslorelei:

jessamygriffin:

eternalrisingphoenix:

ceruleancynic:

naamahdarling:

seananmcguire:

animatedamerican:

eriakit:

morkaischosen:

naamahdarling:

thepoetrycollection:

The Raven

There once was a girl named Lenore
And a bird and a bust and a door
And a guy with depression
And a whole lot of questions
And the bird always says “Nevermore.”

Footprints in the Sand

There was a man who, at low tide
Would walk with the Lord by his side
Jesus said “Now look back;
You’ll see one set of tracks.
That’s when you got a piggy-back ride.”

Response to ‘This Is Just To Say’

This note on the fridge is to say
That those ripe plums that you put away
Well, I ate them last night
They tasted all right
Plus I slept with your sister. M’kay?

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

There once was a horse-riding chap
Who took a trip in a cold snap
He stopped in the snow
But he soon had to go:
He was miles away from a nap.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

There was an old father of Dylan
Who was seriously, mortally illin’
“I want,” Dylan said
“You to bitch till you’re dead.
“I’ll be pissed if you kick it while chillin’.”

I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud

There once was a poet named Will
Who tramped his way over a hill
And was speechless for hours
Over some stupid flowers
This was years before TV, but still.

THE ONE FOR DO NOT GO GENTLE

IM CRYING

A chap from a faraway land
Said two big stone legs (topless) stand
An inscription fine
Reads “this shit’s all mine”
But all there’s to see is the sand.

OMFG,

The Second Coming

The falcon flies wider in scorn
All things fall apart, or are torn
And now, what rough beast
Will arise in the East
And slouch Bethlehemward to be born?

Edgar Allen Poe, “The Raven”:

Enthroned on the bust by the door,
The raven exclaims “Nevermore!”
It’s rather annoying,
For I was enjoying
My mourning for dear lost Lenore.

Edgar Allen Poe, “The Bells”:

Bells are quite noisy, it’s true,
And each has a quite distinct hue,
From silver and gold
Different stories are told,
Foretelling both glory and rue.

W. H. Auden, “Funeral Blues”:

Shut off the clocks and the phone,
And let no dog bark with his bone:
Let the planes overhead
Only say “he is dead”…
Now I’m sorry, there’s nobody home.

T. S. Eliot, “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”:

A man can walk down on the beach
Roll his pants up and munch on a peach;
He isn’t deluded
And won’t be included
By mermaids that sing each to each.

T.S. Eliot, “The Wasteland”:

You called me the hyacinth girl
When you gave sweet Shakespeare a whirl;
The city’s unreal,
And the dead men don’t feel,
So let’s let the storm warnings twirl.

Lewis Carroll, “The Jabberwock”:

‘Twas mimsy out there by the wabe
And all of the momewraths out grabe.
The Jabberwock’s dead
(Some kid took off its head,
And his father said “You’re my best babe!”).

Beowulf:

Terribly troubled, the Thane
Demanded defense from a Dane
For fierce in the fen
Mighty monsters maimed men
Great Grendal gave plenty of pain.

William Butler Yeats, “Stolen Child”:

Come on, human kid, and let’s go,
There’s so much to see and to show.
Run off with the fae,
Hurry fast, skip away,
And you’ll never a mortal life know!

John Keats, ‘La Belle Dame Sans Merci":

The sedge is all dry; spring has sped,
And the birds that once sang have all fled.
The merciless dame
Goes on making her claim
To young hunks who keep winding up dead.

Lord Tennyson, “The Princess”:

The echoes keep fading away
With the splendor that ebbs with the day,
But the castle is grand
In this bright fairyland,
And there’s not that much else I can say.

Christina Rossetti, “Goblin Market”:

At goblin men we mustn’t stare,
And we shouldn’t go to their Fair.
Their fruit may seem tasty,
But we can’t be hasty,
And don’t let them play with your hair!

Oh my god, the Beowulf one.  Oh.

holy shit, the merciless dame is perfect

I love the jabberwock!

Shakespeare, Sonnet 18


Have I called you a summer’s day yet?

Like the sun, and ur makin me sweat

Even Death is dismayed

Cuz you castin’ no shade

An I wrote this so peeps won’t forget

I’m in awe.

The Tygre
William Blake

A tygre with dread symmetry
did burn so brilliantly 
that I asked with a fright
in the forest of night,
“Did God make the lamb and thee?”

Believe Me, if All Those Endearing Young Charms
Thomas Moore

My love whom I gaze on today,
if all your looks faded away
I would love you still more
than ever before
and in love with you always I’d stay.

The Lady of Shalott
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A tender young lass from Shalott,
was forbidden to spy Camelot.
But within her mirror,
Lancelot did appear,
now the lass from Shalott is not.

Catullus 16
Catullus

To the old queens, Aurelius and Furius:
your criticism leaves me quite curious.
Do you think I am weak
because soft words I speak?
‘cause I’ll fuck both your faces, I’m serious.

@theaggresivepacifist

@tozettewrites

sursumursa:

katyanoctis:

girl-in-a-well:

arkhaeology:

Does anyone remember fanfiction from like 2001 to 2004 tho?

-wacky, highly out of character ‘sleepovers’ with the villains of the series

-not bothering to research the culture the series originated from (we live in Japan but for some reason we’re celebrating a westernized version of Christmas?)

-sugar highs??? the entire cast has eaten sugar and now randomness ensues!!1!

-really surreal oneshots taking a completely illogical idea to the highest possible level played completely for laughs (re: maybe Harry was so good at flying because He Was A Broom All Along)

-user guides for characters (as if they’re adoptable robots)

-disclaimer at the beginning of the story, end of the story,
used as page breaks in the middle of the story I DO NOT OWN THIS PLEASE
DON’T SUE I’M DIRT POOR

-author’s notes at the beginning of the story, end of
the story, used as page breaks in the middle of the story, LOL I WROTE
THIS AT ONE IN THE MORNING PLEASE REVIEW

-nutshell/condensed retellings of the series, again usually humorous

-AUs where everything except the main character’s names are completely different that have no real connections to the series (High School AUs are EVERYWHERE)

-The writer’s favourite character isn’t dead and the rest of the cast questions it once and then never mentions it again

-the writer talking to the characters in script form before the story actually starts

“R/R! Don’t like, don’t read! Flames will be fed to (insert fandom reference here) XP XD”

…I did most of these in 2002 oh my god.

And I remember seeing every single one of these lmao

– Evanescence songfic.

Can’t forget the Evanescence songfic.

Says they’ll get shit done then naps for four hours: Pisces, Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio
Actually gets shit done: Aries, Virgo, Capricorn, Leo
Has no intention of getting shit done: Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius, Gemini