First of all, I hate this so much. Second of all, imagine if the two switched places.
(Veruca falls into the trash chute) Chorus: Pray thou no more; for mortals have no escape from destined woe. Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness; and reverence towards the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows…
(Oedipus stabs his eyes out) Oompa Loompas: Oompa loompa doopity do I’ve got another riddle for you What do you get when you sleep with your mum? A curse on your kids for decades to come~
1) this is hysterical and 2) think about the eons of culture that have lead to the creation of this joke. I am humbled by this.
What are all these tears D: @determamfidd you’re to blame for the sobbing mess I am right now! I’d forgotten how AMAZINGLY WELL Sansukh was written!!!!
OH BEAUTEOUS BATTLEPIG YOU ARE SOME SORT OF MASOCHIST I STG. first you bloody listened to Iron Hills on repeat while reading ch35, and now THIS
I was tagged by @notanightlight! Hello, my dearest Nota. *hugs*
Rules: Answer the questions with the first letter of your name, then tag 10 people. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use the same word twice.
As a personal challenge, I made this as FUCKIN AUSTRAYAN as I possibly could. Cheers, mate.
name: Dets (you aren’t gettin my real name, nossir 😉
There once was a girl named Lenore And a bird and a bust and a door And a guy with depression And a whole lot of questions And the bird always says “Nevermore.”
Footprints in the Sand
There was a man who, at low tide Would walk with the Lord by his side Jesus said “Now look back; You’ll see one set of tracks. That’s when you got a piggy-back ride.”
Response to ‘This Is Just To Say’
This note on the fridge is to say That those ripe plums that you put away Well, I ate them last night They tasted all right Plus I slept with your sister. M’kay?
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening
There once was a horse-riding chap Who took a trip in a cold snap He stopped in the snow But he soon had to go: He was miles away from a nap.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
There was an old father of Dylan Who was seriously, mortally illin’ “I want,” Dylan said “You to bitch till you’re dead. “I’ll be pissed if you kick it while chillin’.”
I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud
There once was a poet named Will Who tramped his way over a hill And was speechless for hours Over some stupid flowers This was years before TV, but still.
THE ONE FOR DO NOT GO GENTLE
IM CRYING
A chap from a faraway land Said two big stone legs (topless) stand An inscription fine Reads “this shit’s all mine” But all there’s to see is the sand.
OMFG,
The Second Coming
The falcon flies wider in scorn All things fall apart, or are torn And now, what rough beast Will arise in the East And slouch Bethlehemward to be born?
Edgar Allen Poe, “The Raven”:
Enthroned on the bust by the door, The raven exclaims “Nevermore!” It’s rather annoying, For I was enjoying My mourning for dear lost Lenore.
Edgar Allen Poe, “The Bells”:
Bells are quite noisy, it’s true, And each has a quite distinct hue, From silver and gold Different stories are told, Foretelling both glory and rue.
W. H. Auden, “Funeral Blues”:
Shut off the clocks and the phone, And let no dog bark with his bone: Let the planes overhead Only say “he is dead”… Now I’m sorry, there’s nobody home.
T. S. Eliot, “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”:
A man can walk down on the beach Roll his pants up and munch on a peach; He isn’t deluded And won’t be included By mermaids that sing each to each.
T.S. Eliot, “The Wasteland”:
You called me the hyacinth girl When you gave sweet Shakespeare a whirl; The city’s unreal, And the dead men don’t feel, So let’s let the storm warnings twirl.
Lewis Carroll, “The Jabberwock”:
‘Twas mimsy out there by the wabe And all of the momewraths out grabe. The Jabberwock’s dead (Some kid took off its head, And his father said “You’re my best babe!”).
Beowulf:
Terribly troubled, the Thane Demanded defense from a Dane For fierce in the fen Mighty monsters maimed men Great Grendal gave plenty of pain.
William Butler Yeats, “Stolen Child”:
Come on, human kid, and let’s go, There’s so much to see and to show. Run off with the fae, Hurry fast, skip away, And you’ll never a mortal life know!
John Keats, ‘La Belle Dame Sans Merci":
The sedge is all dry; spring has sped, And the birds that once sang have all fled. The merciless dame Goes on making her claim To young hunks who keep winding up dead.
Lord Tennyson, “The Princess”:
The echoes keep fading away With the splendor that ebbs with the day, But the castle is grand In this bright fairyland, And there’s not that much else I can say.
Christina Rossetti, “Goblin Market”:
At goblin men we mustn’t stare, And we shouldn’t go to their Fair. Their fruit may seem tasty, But we can’t be hasty, And don’t let them play with your hair!
Oh my god, the Beowulf one. Oh.
holy shit, the merciless dame is perfect
I love the jabberwock!
Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
Have I called you a summer’s day yet?
Like the sun, and ur makin me sweat
Even Death is dismayed
Cuz you castin’ no shade
An I wrote this so peeps won’t forget
I’m in awe.
The Tygre William Blake
A tygre with dread symmetry did burn so brilliantly that I asked with a fright in the forest of night, “Did God make the lamb and thee?”
Believe Me, if All Those Endearing Young Charms Thomas Moore
My love whom I gaze on today, if all your looks faded away I would love you still more than ever before and in love with you always I’d stay.
The Lady of Shalott Alfred, Lord Tennyson
A tender young lass from Shalott, was forbidden to spy Camelot. But within her mirror, Lancelot did appear, now the lass from Shalott is not.
Catullus 16 Catullus
To the old queens, Aurelius and Furius: your criticism leaves me quite curious. Do you think I am weak because soft words I speak? ‘cause I’ll fuck both your faces, I’m serious.
Does anyone remember fanfiction from like 2001 to 2004 tho?
-wacky, highly out of character ‘sleepovers’ with the villains of the series
-not bothering to research the culture the series originated from (we live in Japan but for some reason we’re celebrating a westernized version of Christmas?)
-sugar highs??? the entire cast has eaten sugar and now randomness ensues!!1!
-really surreal oneshots taking a completely illogical idea to the highest possible level played completely for laughs (re: maybe Harry was so good at flying because He Was A Broom All Along)
-user guides for characters (as if they’re adoptable robots)
-disclaimer at the beginning of the story, end of the story,
used as page breaks in the middle of the story I DO NOT OWN THIS PLEASE
DON’T SUE I’M DIRT POOR
-author’s notes at the beginning of the story, end of
the story, used as page breaks in the middle of the story, LOL I WROTE
THIS AT ONE IN THE MORNING PLEASE REVIEW
-nutshell/condensed retellings of the series, again usually humorous
-AUs where everything except the main character’s names are completely different that have no real connections to the series (High School AUs are EVERYWHERE)
-The writer’s favourite character isn’t dead and the rest of the cast questions it once and then never mentions it again
-the writer talking to the characters in script form before the story actually starts
“R/R! Don’t like, don’t read! Flames will be fed to (insert fandom reference here) XP XD”
…I did most of these in 2002 oh my god.
And I remember seeing every single one of these lmao
– Evanescence songfic.
Can’t forget the Evanescence songfic.
Says they’ll get shit done then naps for four hours: Pisces, Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio
Actually gets shit done: Aries, Virgo, Capricorn, Leo
Has no intention of getting shit done: Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius, Gemini