okay everyone but consider: glorfindel comes on the quest of erebor!au
“I HAVEN’T SEEN DWARVES IN AGES” “glorfindel pls calm down” “OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS ONE? HE LOOKS JUST LIKE DURIN IV????” “yes glorfindel that’s great but the rest of us don’t bother to learn dwarf family trees so we have no idea who you are talking about. also that one is snarling maybe you should put him down????”
glorfindel training bilbo how to fight
thorin being like “we cannot take *unexperienced* warriors on this quest” “i killed a balrog” “wait WHAT”
fili and kili and practically all the dwarves hero-worshipping him
glorfindel and bilbo talking in sindarin
“so you’ve actually killed dragons?” “nah man that’s thranduil i heard he killed like 27 in the war of the wrath” “WHAT”
okay but glorfindel showing up in mirkwood and is chatting up all the elves when they (almost) get captured
legolas is fanboying. a little. okay a lot.
glorfindel and thranduil chatting it up while the dwarves are like “eXCUSE ME WE ARE IN CHAINS”
glorfindel hiding in a barrel as they go into laketown (somebody draw this please)
glorfindel telling the bardlings stories
“we should pour gold on the dragon” “no that’s a stupid fuckign idea bro. let’s shoot it” “well alright then”
i’m sorry to say that putting glorfindel in a barrel will probably end up like this
If you thought snakes, spiders and sharks were the only main problems of Australia, you obviously have not heard of magpies.
Don’t look so bad ay?
Well that picture was probably when it wasn’t spring.
Because once it is swooping season they turn into FREAKIN DEVIL TERRITORIAL NEST PROTECTORS WHO ATTACK ANYONE AND EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF IF THEY COULD EVEN REACH THE NEST.
THESE MOTHER FUCKERS DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A HUMAN JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET, THEY DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE TRYING TO RIDE YOUR BIKE.
THEY WILL KILL YOU.
THEY DON’T EVEN CARE IF YOU’RE A CAMERA.
THEY DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A CHILD. I mean, this one, Psycho Sam, decided to take up residence at a playground near where I live.
AND HE WAS NAMED PSYCHO SAM FOR A GOOD REASON.
THESE BIRDS ARE TERRIFYING WHEN THEY HAVE NESTS.
The only way to be safe from them is to do this
Which looks rediculous to tourists, but IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEAD, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO IT.
Fun fact: Australian magpies are not actually magpies! Magpies are Corvids, along with ravens, jays, crows, etc; Australian magpies are butcherbirds of the Cracticus genus.
Corvids are the frighteningly intelligent ones who can solve puzzles, recognize themselves in mirrors, use tools, etc. They might be the most intelligent birds! The European magpie, Pica pica, is a friendly, bouncy birb, so fond of shiny things that people who like shiny things are called magpies – and the medical compulsion to eat inedible things, such as paper, is called “pica.” Magpies are associated with an old counting/ prediction rhyme:
one for sorrow
two for joy
three for a girl
four for a boy…
Clearly a different birb than PSYCHO SAM.
Because the Australian magpie, Cracticus tibicen, has the same colors as a European magpie, but is clearly a different animal. It’s a stocky songbird with a distinctive broad, hooked murderbeak, while Pica is a crow in a fancy tux; compare Pica’s long, dapper tail with the Cracticus’s sturdy fan. It’s called a butcherbird because it kills things and impales them on thorns for easy storage, creating a nice “larder.”
Like, the name “magpie” is such a cute jaunty thing. While “butcherbird” is clearly a stone cold killer. Should we all be calling the Aussie magpie a butcherbird?
I’m not sure what the take-home message is here. Maybe #notALLmagpies???
Aw Yiss 