You’d think the first lesson of Intersectionality 101 should be “you cannot actually divide people into The Bad Privileged Oppressors versus The Good Marginalized Victims”, but too often people seem to instead end up at the failure mode “unless you’re marginalized in every possible way, you can always be recategorized on the fly as a member of The Bad Privileged Oppressors if it’s politically or rhetorically convenient”.
Tag: stuff to make thinks
little happy things:
- seeing someone who is equally as excited to see you
- when you’re somewhere beautiful, away from things that stress you out
- actually completing your homework quickly without procrastinating too much, and then sleeping on time
- when your friend shares a generous amount of food with you
- reading something that perfectly describes what you’ve struggled to put into words
- starting a new journal with new stationery
- waking up in the morning and feeling happy for no reason
- discovering a new favourite tv show, song or person that makes you excited again
- making food or art and then feeling proud of your creations
- realizing that you don’t care anymore about something that made you sad or anxious before
Fuck anyone who says I have to forgive everyone, “for my sake.” I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard to love myself enough to hate them.
Shit, yeah, this is a thing that is hard to articulate. Some people don’t feel healed by forgiving the people who hurt them, because that’s what they kept doing over and over and it only led to getting more hurt. Sometimes you feel healed when you’re finally brave enough to say “This person was horrible to me, and I did not deserve that treatment, and I don’t have to be okay with it.”
The secret is to stop thinking about them. Hate them, but don’t let them take up one moment more of your time. They are gone and done with, so forget them.
Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
Daniell Koepke (via theremina)
Saying that man and woman are the only genders is actually LESS nuanced than saying that earth, water, air, and fire are the only elements.
This is fantastic.
Self-Knowledge Questionnaire
ambition, aggression, exhibitionism.
rationality, playfulness & resilience
neediness, aggression, sensitivity
rationality, authority, independence
shyness, playfulness, resilience.
Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities. [x]
comic via: chainsawsuit
how to radically improve ur experience on tumblr.com:
- mercilessly block all Fuckers. do not reply to them, do not “justify” blocking them. the goal is to get them out of ur life, not “win” a conflict
- unfollow anyone who isnt actively improving ur quality of life. u dont owe the people u follow ur attention. if they arent producing content/posts that your benefit from in some way, u dont have to stick around. its not personal.
- u dont have to care at maximum capacity about everything. ppl like to signal boost and spread awareness and thats great, but its ok to just not have the energy to do that. u dont have to feel guilty about using ur blog for YOUR purposes. thats what its for
- if u need to, turn anon off. theres no shame in that. it works.
- if someone is raising a concern with you or reacting critically to something youve said or done, listen to them with empathy rather than getting angry. not everyone is trying to start a fight when they call u out on doing something hurtful, and if u react angrily on a knee-jerk reaction to someone who was just trying to help, ur gonna look like an asshat
- if u feel like ur about to look like an asshat, its advisable to get up and do something else for a while until youve cooled down and can think rationally. u dont have to reply right away
- “tone” is pretty subjective, so try not to fight with people over it
- u dont have to fight with every motherfucker who says some ignorant or passive aggressive shit on ur posts. just block them. they can be wrong all by themselves.
- just block them
- abuse the block function
- it is there for u to use it
There’s a narrative about abusers that, while rings true for probably a lot of people, falls short in my experience. Not all abusers are calculating and malicious. Some people just. Think abuse is the proper way to interact with human beings. (Can’t get someone to do what I want? Emotionally manipulate them! And then say that they’re the manipulative one!) not all abusers intend to be abusive or even know what they’re doing is abusive.
That doesn’t mean the abuse is any better for the victim. It usually means we question it more. Is it really abuse if they didn’t mean it? If they tell us they love us? If they’re not malicious? If they just don’t know any other way to behave?
Abuse just has many forms and they all suck balls
Aw Yiss 