The Dwarves at a Party

theimaginesyouneveraskedfor:

Thorin:
-broods in the corner with a glass of whiskey
-gives everyone the stink eye
-secretly loves this P!nk song but would never say so

Fili:
-dances like your dad at a barbeque
-has cheetos dust in his beard
-might, actually will, hurt himself or someone else

Kili:
-was way too drunk before the party even began
-drinking a margarita made of melted jolly ranchers, ice, and way too much vodka
-dances like a frat bro without the sleaze

Dwalin:
-hides out in the corner with Thorin and a flask he brought from home
-must rein in the Durin Bros when they get to rowdy
-hates his life

Balin:
-the designated driver
-made the hors d’oeuvres
-confiscates Kili’s margarita

Bofur:
-the DJ with the way too random music
-falls down the stairs as a party trick
-wears a red cup as a hat

Bombur:
-becomes Balin’s nemesis after devouring all the hors d’oeuvres
-broke the trampoline which was explicitly off-limits
-master of beer pong

Bifur:
-retreats to the bathroom
-leaves early
-was he even there?

Dori:
-staying sober with Balin
-trying to clean up the ever growing mess
-hass 911 on standby

Nori:
-may have stolen all the silverware…and the plastic forks too
-invited those guys no one knows and who are freaking everyone out
-makes everyone figure out the “password” to get in

Ori:
-can’t handle his liquor
-is the partygoer who will inevitably be hurt by Fili
-brought a colouring book because he misinterpreted the invitation

Oin:
-will fight someone or a whole bunch of someones
-judges you by your drink
-passes out in the backyard

Gloin:
-won’t stop fixing things around the house
-yet still drinking without pause
-made friends with dog

lesbiankiliel:

Bilbo and Thorin’s seemingly mutually unrequited pining is getting ridiculous and driving everyone nuts, so the Company decides to stage an intervention. For the sake of their friends, and for the sake of the sanity of Erebor.

Woo I can finally officially say this was mine^^ (as if my ever so sly promo wasn’t just me screaming “look this is mine but I can’t announce it yet”)

Anyway, hope you like this fic and hope you like my banner that I made in like five minutes but I really wanted one lmao

(Rated T, 1,943 words, Bagginshield, fem!Kiliel, everyone lives/nobody dies, staging an intervention, humour, piglets)

i know this is almost def not gonna happen in sansukh, but i love the idea of the feanorian tauriel discussion being an actual thing; like she’s looking for the dwarves, so who better to ask than famous dwarf-friend celebrimbor? so there’s a ginger elf wandering around asking after celebrimbor, and when the feanorians hear about this (or at least the noldor royal family, who didn’t kill that many other elves and were probs reembodied) they naturally think tauriel is celebrimbor’s secret child–

–and are super excited to meet a new relative (this one didn’t even kill any other elves!). celebrimbor is very very confused. the noldor are very welcoming to tauriel, and really interested in getting to know her. tauriel is completely oblivious, and thinks the noldor are just weirdly helpful.


Nonnie, yes you are right – that is not happening in Sansukh, sorry for disappointment… but why the heck does that mean it won’t exist?? Go write it! This is a great premise and I love the idea and I would read the heck out of it! GO WRITE YOUR IDEA INTO THE WORLD, MAKE IT INTO A THING! Love it and name it and dive, dive, dive into it!! 

inimitablebastard:

Thorin calling Bilbo “Master Burglar” when he’s being Serious, Royal and Professional™ to impress his Hobbit

Thorin calling him “B I L B O” when he’s desperate, scared or extremely relieved to see him bc let’s be honest when it comes to Bilbo’s safety & well-being he can’t hold his shit

This is a thing and it’s canon and if you’re wondering, yes, i’m gonna scream