Tag: the hobbit

In response to your anon with a Dain-bashing otherwise-good rare pair fic: A thing I have actually done is just ctrl+f and replace the name. (I actually started this when a friend recommended rpf and I didn’t really want to read fiction about real people, but she wanted to talk about the story.) It’s not perfect, since you still know, but it gave me the distance to pretend?

OH MY GOD

YES YES YES YES THANK YOU NONNIE, YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A NEW LEASE ON LIFE

this is so so SO much better than the ‘grit your teeth and pretend he has a different name’ method!

Sorry to bother you, but where do you find your names for your dwarf and elf OCs? I’ve tried a few different naming sites, but none of them really sound like they would really belong in the Tolkien universe like yours do.

Hey Nonnie!

I make ‘em up 🙂 For Dwarven names, I made myself a loose set of rules to follow. It appears that the names from the Völuspá have a certain predictability, and so I improvised from there.

There’s one or two that don’t fit: Genild, for instance. 

With the Elven names I make up, I usually trawl the dictionary at Hisweloke with a specific goal in mine. Laerophen’s name means “Tree Song” for example, and I wanted a name that meant ‘whispering of the trees’… so what I did was collect Sindarin branch-words until I was able to find a combination I liked!

(I have a whole flotilla of Elf names I haven’t used yet, heheheh)

Thank you for your advice! I did end up finishing the fic, and while their portrayal of Dain and Dis didn’t change, both of them had very small parts and weren’t mentioned again after I got halfway through. I did leave a comment, telling them everything that I enjoyed about the fic as well as politely mentioning that, canonically, Dain had decades of peaceful and prosperous trade with the elves and men. I don’t hold out much hope, since they said in another comment, as someone else [1/2]

also asked about their portrayal of Dain and said that he’s a good guy, and they said that it’s easy to make Dain evil in an ‘everyone lives/no one dies’ au since so many other people do. This is seriously making me want to write again, writer’s block non-withstanding. All the awesome Dain working with elves and men and being diplomatic fics. Sorry it’s so long again! [2/2]

*SHRIEKS*

I WILL CERTAINLY NOT BE UPSET

IF THE RESULT OF A DAIN-BASHING FIC

IS MORE WONDERFULLY-CHARACTERISED DAIN FIC 

THAT IS THE BEST RESULT I CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF 

If you do decide to write, please please please let me know. It sounds like it would be an insta-fave of mine. Dain and Thranduil and Bard, and how they overcame what happened and how they moved on and made the North peaceful and prosperous again ❤

(and their ‘Our Get-Along Shirt’ of course, lmao)

Imagine … the Trouble Troupe helping Dori cook. Balinith is measuring Very Carefully. Gimizh is a mess, flour everywhere, all sticky. Wee Thorin is happily helping. Frerinith has abandoned cooking for snacking on the fruit/jam/sweets.

Wee Thorin would probably be trying to pry Gimizh out of whatever it is that he’s stuck in, lmao. And Frerinith would be ‘telling’ everyone what to do, very importantly, while Balinith cheerfully ignores him and Dori tries to turn a blind eye to the CHAOS

Can you give me some advice? I found a long fic about one of my rare pairings, that’s also part of a series with decently long fics. That absolutely never happens with this particular pairing, especially in an ‘everyone lives/no one dies’ way. But I only got 1/3 of the way into the first one before there was Dain bashing. Comments about him going to take Thorin’s crown and sever ties with the elves and such. It was so well written before that, but it messes with everything I know of Dain. [1/2]

Should I keep reading anyway and hope that their view of Dain changes (and they stop making Dis racist against elves) or should I just give it up as a bad job and try to find another well-written fic about my rare pair that’s not about sex? The latter is really hard to find sometimes. [2/2]

*winces*

Well, Nonnie, it’s really up to you. Not me. I definitely sympathise with the desire to read long, well-written non-smut fic about a rare pair. 

But Dain-bashing or greedy!Evil!Dain mischaracterisation is a rock-solid gold-plated FUCK NOPE for me, and I have to backclick every time. 

I can’t decide for you which of these two is more important to you. But I wish you every bit of luck trying to find a fic that does both. 

[THORIN IN THE HALLS OF EREBOR]

In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet.

For just a moment…a yellow sky.

I was young when dragonfire took all we’d earned.

But I didn’t burn

….I couldn’t seem to die.

I fought my way out.

Fought ev’ryone, far as I could see

I fought my way out.

I looked down and the kingdom had its eyes on me.

We passed from town to town.

And sometimes, strangers moved to kindness

By our story

Raised enough for us to book passage on a ship

Ered Luin-bound.

[RAP]

I fought my way out of hell.

I fought my way through strife and struggle

To keep our heritage away from death’s knells.

I fought the Pale Orc!

With a shield until he fell!

I fought against our enemies and defended us well!

And in the face of ignorance and resistance

I brought that ancient prophecy into existence!

And when my prayers to Mahal were met with indifference

I picked up a sword, and fought for our deliverance!

In the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet!

For just a moment…a yellow sky.

I was young when my brother died.

He was holding me.

In Khazad-dum, he was holding me…

….I couldn’t seem to die.

[BALIN]

Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.

[THORIN]

…I’ll fight my way out.

[COMPANY]

Wait for it, wait for it-

[THORIN]

I’ll fight everyone, far as I can see! *grabs Bilbo*

[COMPANY]

History has its eyeees-

[THORIN]

I’ll fight my way out!

Overwhelm them with authority!

*dangles Bilbo over the battlements*

This is the eye of the hurricane!

This is the only way I can protect my legacy!

[COMPANY]

Wait for iT, wait for it, wait for it, wait!

Swords and Pigs

theoneandonlyzoe:

Thanks to culturalrebel for letting me bounce off her lyrics to make this!

How does a ragtag volunteer comp’ny in need of a shower
Somehow withstand two diff’rent superpowers?
How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire
Leave the battlefield alive, screamin’ Baruk Khazad! higher?
Yo! Turns out we have a secret weapon.
The cousin Thorin knows and loves who’s unafraid to step in
He’s constantly confusin’ confoundin’ the orcish war force
Everyone give it up for the Iron Hills’ favorite fighting Dwarf-Lord!
(Ironfoot!)
I’m taking this pig by the reins
Makin’ pale orcs black with bloodstains
(Ironfoot!)
And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em drop and burn ‘em up and scatter the remains, I’m
Ironfoot!
I get a call for more swords
I ride forth with more dwarves
And pigs
And so the balance shifts
We rendezvous with ol’ Tharkun, consolidate this shit
We can end this war before it starts, cut it off at speed, but
For this to succeed
There is someone else we need – my friend
Oakenshield!
Well, he knows what to do in a pinch
Ingenuitive and fluent and swift, I mean
Oakenshield!
Well you’re gonna have to help him eventually – what we gonna do on the bench, I mean?
Oakenshield!
No one has his resilience, though lacking in practical tactical brilliance!

You wanna fight for your land back?
Get your arms and fight back!
You gotta get your arms and fight back!
I mean you gotta put some thought into you your letters
But the sooner the better
You get your arms and fight back!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS