How to Disturb Your Child 101 v.2 – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

The
Stonehelm stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes were massive in his face and
the hand that had pushed open the door was hovering in mid-air as he stared at
his parents on the bed. (The Stonehelm walks in on his parents having sex) determamfidd

How to Disturb Your Child 101 v.2 – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

ursubs:

Some sansukh chapter 36 scribbles. First ones a presketch of the crowning scene i drew, second is stonehelm and bomfris, third frerin. (All drawn without refs haha)

oh. my. god.

Even at sketch level, these are breaking my heart. (BOMFRIIIIIS! FRERIN!!!! STONEHELM!!! AUGH)

thank you so so much ursubs!

A Poem for Thorin Stonehelm and Bomfrís

Soaring high upon the breeze
The raven, lonely above the mountain
Beneath and between the stars
Above the stone, but not separate from it.
*
Under the bright blue autumn sky
A mountain made of stone
The whole thing a crown,
A helm atop one head. 
*
A balance, a dance
The archer above and prince below
Gift of ravens and gift of stone
Durin’s breath and blood.

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU

THESE TWO AUGH MY HEART

ursubs:

OKAY SO. completely blown away by the new chapter of sansûkh by determamfidd. this scene was really great i loved it. i almost added in bomfris but i wanted to keep the focus on the crowning. maybe ill do a little sketch as a follow up idk. but yeah i was rly inspired and i wanted to draw dis in badass armor haha. there are a few other scenes i have ideas for but idk if ill get to drawing them; enjoy this one for now! 

just ignore the shapeless blobs in the background, its supposed to be a crowd but eh. also its impossible to find a side view of the crown for reference omfg

!!!!!

Oh my GODDDDD

ursubs it is incredible. The Stonehelm’s tattoos! the armour omfg the beards, Dis’ hair, i am gonna blubber, it is so beautiful and omg thank you thank you!!! *tacklehugs*

The sexytimes helm is extremely phallic. Somebody gave it to him as a joke and he kind of..hides it in the back of the helm closet and pretends it doesn’t exist

PFFFFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ohgod ohno

what if Bomfris finds it one day

she’d just burst into peals of ugly-snort laughter, tears rolling down her face

the Stonehelm would be red from hairline to his toes, face buried in pillow: “please stop it. Please. It was a gift, I didn’t. Please, Bomfris. PLEASE STOP.”

Bomfris would totally throw it at him, still laughing her arse off.

(but? the next time they get down an’ busy, he totally reaches under the bed and jams it on his head and waggles his eyebrows. Bomfris laughs so hard they roll onto the floor with a giant THUMP, waking the baby. 

Down the hall Thira makes a note to install sound-proofing).

Your tag on Bomfris’ gift to Thorin 3 is making me imagine him having helms for all occasions. Like a huge closet of helmets. Battle helm, ceremonial helm, kinging helm, business casual helm, black tie helm, date night helm, watching-the-dwarfling helm, surprise party helm.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Perfection. I love it too much. He’s like the Dwarf equivalent of the person who has a handbag for every occasion. 

i want to see the party helm dammit. is there a SEXYTIMES helm

(perhaps he even has a *gasp* a stone helm?)

If it’s not spoilers, what sort of courting gifts does Bomfris give Thorin 3? Because her main “craft” seems to be working with the ravens? Like, does she give him woodworking things? Or maybe food?

balinisballin:

determamfidd:

Not a spoiler, nope! 

Okay, v briefly, here is the ‘Meet a Dwarrowdam’ bio for Bomfris

Bomfrís daughter of Alrís

Bomfrís is the eighth child of Bombur and Alrís (the entire list, in order, is: Barís Crystaltongue, Barum, Barur Stonebelly, Bomfur, Bolrur,Bofrur, Alfur, Bomfrís, Alrur, Alfrís,
Bibur and Albur) and the middle
daughter of three. Her hair is the light ginger of her father, but she
resembles her mother otherwise, with her large brown eyes and merry smile.
Growing up she was often solitary by choice, as she felt ignored and swamped by
her horde of siblings, and eclipsed by the musical talent of her famous eldest
sister Barís and cooking abilities of her older brother Barur. She grew to
enjoy her solitude and freedom, and often roamed beyond Erebor to be beneath
the sky. She befriended the ravens of the Mountain, and is one of the Dwarrows who tends to them. She first took up the bow, an unpopular weapon
amongst Dwarves, when she was small and saw the noted knife-thrower and archer
Mizim daughter of Ilga (mother of Gimrís and Gimli Elf-Friend, wife of Glóin)
bringing down a great horned owl that threatened the ravens’ nests. She then
begged Mizim to teach her. Her skill was not at first apparent, but she worked
hard until she improved. Eventually she outstripped her mentor to become the
finest shot in Erebor, and leader of the small group of archers in the
Ereborean army. Blunt, socially inept, often abrasive, prickly and fiery, Bomfrís is often
quick to take offense. However, she is loyal and unwavering in all her loves
and convictions, and is also likely to be the first one to come to the defence
of others.


Bomfris is an archer by ‘trade’ – and outside war-time and archery practice, she spends a lot of time out and about upon the former Desolation. Tuac will accompany her, perched on her shoulder. Bomfris will use the raven’s keener eyesight to spy out possible prey. She hunts game: deer, birds and the like, and often brings them back to her famous brother Barur Stonebelly for roasting.

One of her more uh, memorable courting gifts to her beloved, Crown Prince Thorin Stonehelm, was a whole (uncooked) stag, a massive 13-point old buck. 

She actually thumped it down onto the table before him, and beamed at him over the carcass. “For you,” she said, and wiped her sweaty forehead. “Don’t kiss me yet, though – I’m a bit rank. I stink of deer.”

Thorin was a bit wide-eyed and speechless, but he kissed her anyway ❤

(Thankfully, he was fond of venison. And those impressive antlers he attached to his helm, to bring him luck in battle.) 

DONT WEAR THINGS ON YOUR HELM IN BATTLE LAD, IT GIVES THEM SOMETHING TO AIM AT

ALSO IT TRANSLATES SHOCKS FROM STRIKES DIRECTLY ONTO YER THICK SKULL INSTEAD OF AWAY FROM YER BLASTED HEAD YE NINNY

(aha, the Stonehelm comes by his moniker honestly. Absolutely nothing will hurt his head, promise! He could probably headbutt through Erebor without getting even so much as a migraine.)

If it’s not spoilers, what sort of courting gifts does Bomfris give Thorin 3? Because her main “craft” seems to be working with the ravens? Like, does she give him woodworking things? Or maybe food?

Not a spoiler, nope! 

Okay, v briefly, here is the ‘Meet a Dwarrowdam’ bio for Bomfris

Bomfrís daughter of Alrís

Bomfrís is the eighth child of Bombur and Alrís (the entire list, in order, is: Barís Crystaltongue, Barum, Barur Stonebelly, Bomfur, Bolrur,Bofrur, Alfur, Bomfrís, Alrur, Alfrís,
Bibur and Albur) and the middle
daughter of three. Her hair is the light ginger of her father, but she
resembles her mother otherwise, with her large brown eyes and merry smile.
Growing up she was often solitary by choice, as she felt ignored and swamped by
her horde of siblings, and eclipsed by the musical talent of her famous eldest
sister Barís and cooking abilities of her older brother Barur. She grew to
enjoy her solitude and freedom, and often roamed beyond Erebor to be beneath
the sky. She befriended the ravens of the Mountain, and is one of the Dwarrows who tends to them. She first took up the bow, an unpopular weapon
amongst Dwarves, when she was small and saw the noted knife-thrower and archer
Mizim daughter of Ilga (mother of Gimrís and Gimli Elf-Friend, wife of Glóin)
bringing down a great horned owl that threatened the ravens’ nests. She then
begged Mizim to teach her. Her skill was not at first apparent, but she worked
hard until she improved. Eventually she outstripped her mentor to become the
finest shot in Erebor, and leader of the small group of archers in the
Ereborean army. Blunt, socially inept, often abrasive, prickly and fiery, Bomfrís is often
quick to take offense. However, she is loyal and unwavering in all her loves
and convictions, and is also likely to be the first one to come to the defence
of others.


Bomfris is an archer by ‘trade’ – and outside war-time and archery practice, she spends a lot of time out and about upon the former Desolation. Tuac will accompany her, perched on her shoulder. Bomfris will use the raven’s keener eyesight to spy out possible prey. She hunts game: deer, birds and the like, and often brings them back to her famous brother Barur Stonebelly for roasting.

One of her more uh, memorable courting gifts to her beloved, Crown Prince Thorin Stonehelm, was a whole (uncooked) stag, a massive 13-point old buck. 

She actually thumped it down onto the table before him, and beamed at him over the carcass. “For you,” she said, and wiped her sweaty forehead. “Don’t kiss me yet, though – I’m a bit rank. I stink of deer.”

Thorin was a bit wide-eyed and speechless, but he kissed her anyway ❤

(Thankfully, he was fond of venison. And those impressive antlers he attached to his helm, to bring him luck in battle.)