the adventures of the master cookie thief and his apprentice

darthstitch:

Look, we’re all on tenterhooks wondering what will happen with @determamfidd and Sansukh, but it’s fairly safe to say it’s going to end with a wedding feast?

And so, Legolas and Gimli are understandably terrified at the shenanigans that will ensue at said wedding feast, considering their respective relatives but!

They did not count upon the Master Cookie Thief.

Now, really, Gimli should’ve expected shenanigans from his beloved and mischief-loving sister-son but he wasn’t prepared for this level, the kind of shenanigans that would also cause Thranduil Elven-king to have kittens. 

And cookie-crumbs on his elegant robes. 

Because, really, Thranduil Elven-king was said to be delighted with precious jewels but nobody expected that his true weakness would be discovered and exploited by one clever little dwarven badger of the line of Durin.  (Read: Chocolate and Caramel Chip cookies)

Also, Thranduil Elven-king was rendered helpless considering his own son was aiding and abetting the Master Cookie Thief of Erebor in raiding cookie jars under the mountain. 

Legolas discovered this for himself when he found cookie-crumbs in Laerophen’s hair!

And thus, Erebor, the Greenwood and Dale were suitably distracted from the “billing and cooing” of newlyweds Legolas and Gimli because they were too busy howling for justice over their depleted cookie jars!

Gimizh plans to raid the Shire next, with his faithful and loyal Elven apprentice.  He may have allies in the persons of the young Gamgee children. 

EEEP STITCH OMFG

YES YES YES YES AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – Thranduil shall be seduced to the Cookie side of the Force! JUSTICE FOR OUR DENUDED CAKE TINS, NO JAR LEFT UNFILLED *fistpump*

(LAEROPHEN IS LONG FALLEN LMAO)

oh whoa Gimizh and the Gamgee kids, can you imagine… it’d be like the Pied Piper, except cakes and cookies and pies. The Pie Piper. *snrk*

I love you, dearest, you’ve made me laugh aloud in a tough time. *hugs and hugs* Thank you, your crack is always exactly the medicine the doctor ordered :)))

I have a few questions about aelir(?) if that’s ok? In another ask i think u said smthg about a courting gift? was that the white gems of las galen? What was her courting thranduil like?? What does her crown look like?? + how does she feel about thranduils elk? Lol Does she have an elk too? Srry there’s a lot. ur a great writer <3 thx xx

hey Nonnie! lmao whoa – sure thing!

Yup, Aelir, that’s right! And yes – I have the white gems as a courting gift, from Thranduil. The only jewellery she wore. 

Heh, she was the one to pursue him. She decided to climb that tall, stiff, proud dude with the pretty hair – wait for it – yes, like a tree. :))))

Aelir was the one who began the crowns woven from the olvar: she wasn’t much into heavy golden things, and bleh to those flimsy little circlets that the rest of the Elves wear, frankly. So she was out in her woods one day and had an odd thought, and immediately put it into practice. She took some branches and wove her own, decorating it with the summer fruits and flowers. It was so beautiful that Thranduil went ‘RIGHT YES PERFECT’ and wore one for every season since.

He makes his own these days.

LMAO, she’s cool with the Elk (though it has been a succession of elks, really)! Doesn’t have her own: she likes to glide and race through the forests on her own, clinging to branches with her hands, touching the leaf-litter with her bare feet. 

Thranduil suspected that the elk(s) and Aelir gossiped about him, but could never prove it.

(AHHH THANK YOU!!)

What were Legolas, Laerophen, and Laindawar’s relationship w their mom like?

Hi there, Nonnie!

Ooooh, this may be a convoluted answer. Here we go!

Here’s my Aelir tag, so you can get a handle on who she was. I’ll separate this answer out into each of the princes, so you can get the gist of their relationships.

Laindawar
When he was born, Aelir often bundled her eldest child onto her back as she raced through her beloved woods. Laindawar grew to toddlerhood sitting under green eaves beside his mother, or strapped to her as she clambered and danced and leaped through the trees. 

Aelir was an odd sort of duck. She was tall, dishevelled, nearly squirrelish in her manner, not very talkative at all. Her eyes spoke more than she did. She was more at home with her trees than in the company of other elves, and Laindawar most definitely absorbed this tendency. He too is a loner more content under the branches. This is not only due to his own natural tendencies, but to those early formative years spent with his mother, alone but for the wind in the leaves and the soft puff of their breath.

As he grew, Laindawar was brought forward into the world of his father: the court, the business of being a crown prince and a political figure. He would retreat to his mother as an escape, for the peace and rest her presence brought. 

(Thranduil did likewise, funnily enough. Aelir was a calm, wild haven for them both.)

As Aelir sickened, Laindawar’s resolve to kill all the evil in the forests hardened into something diamond-plated and implacable. He has never given up.

Laerophen
Our awkward giraffe was born several years after his brother, and he was at one glance obviously Thranduil’s child. He had the hair, the eyes, the height! Yet he was in spirit a retiring soul, and preferred the quiet and his own company. 

Also, it appeared that he was made mostly of elbows and knees.

It was for Laerophen’s sake that Aelir began to stay longer and more frequently in the palace. It was Thranduil who taught him to read, but it was Aelir who sat with him and listened as he devoured all the books around him and told her about what he had learned in excited piping tones. 

She often brought him out of his rooms, just the two of them (three, if Laindawar were willing to take time away from his hunting). Unlike Laindawar and Legolas, Laerophen would walk through the trees by his mother’s side. He would not leap from bough to bough. She would hold his hand. 

She taught him the bow, though he did not show any especial gift for it. But he loved the time with his mother, and so he worked diligently at it. 

When she left, Laerophen’s world contracted to his rooms once again. The only one who could coax him out was Legolas.

Legolas
Their little green leaf was such a shock. SUCH A SHOCK. Aelir had been sickening for centuries – how was she to know that this was any different? But there it was, she was due another child. Weakened as she was due to the poisoning of the forests, she worried. God, did she worry.

She needn’t have worried, not for him. Legolas was walking before he was crawling, desperate to stand and do everything right now!! NOW!!! He wanted to see everything, know everything, touch everything. He was, unlike her quiet eldest children, noisy. He cried loudly, sang loudly, laughed loudly.

He was effusively affectionate.

Everything in him bubbled over with curiosity and joy. 

Aelir brought him into her forests as much as she was able, and strapped him to her back as she had for Laindawar. Unlike his brother, Legolas did not enjoy being confined to such safety. As soon as he was able, he wriggled free to dangle and clamber and run just as his mother did. “Look Naneth! Look at me! Look what I can do!”

He made her laugh helplessly and happily, even as the shadows under her eyes deepened. 

She tried to stay for him. She truly did.

okay but crotchety old Dis, forcibly dragging Thranduil by his long, pretentious elven hair, into some semblance of character development; meanwhile, Vili, wearing a suitably skimpy cheerleader outfit, frantically waves pom poms at her, mouthing “that’s my girl!” and “I love you” every time she says something particularly cleverly cutting. the entire time, Dis is quietly muttering/thinking about how she is far too old for this nonsense.

OH MY GOD

That sneak peek! Dis! Thranduil being dragged kicking and screaming into character development! Vili! I just want to cuddle all of them and you. -sniffles-

Heeeeeeee, I am SO GLAD! Thank you, Nonnie! 

And yeah – Thranduil is absolutely resisting this new knowledge, he can’t find out ANYTHING terrible about Gimli – but he’s being forced to confront some of his own less-than-compassionate decisions heh. YOU’RE GONNA DEVELOP – WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, MISTER. :DD

Vili is such a goddamn sweetheart, I wanna hug him forever. And Dis needs all the love, god. So much love.