You know when you’re a kid and you want to go to McDonalds, but there’s no way that your parents are going to take you there, but then the better restaurant that they want to go to is closed so you wind up at McDonalds?
That’s basically Gimli getting to go through Moria.
But dude, you don’t normally find your relatives’ corpses at McDonalds.
Erm. I think Elves would have hunting dogs, most likely: maybe not big packs of pursuers such as beagles, but certainly retrievers, pointers and birding dogs! They had Huan, after all, that we know of, and he was a hunting hound. Hunting dogs make sense with Elven choice of weaponry and lifestyle, also.
I feel like Hobbits would go in for the big packs; the more the merrier. Farmer Maggot had his dogs, Grip, Fang and Wolf, who were intimidating dogs that he would threaten to sic on people found stealing his mushrooms. But the dogs were actually big softies who wouldn’t harm anybody. They were trained only to scare thieves, not hurt them. They were so effective at this, in fact, that Frodo was still afraid of them thirty years after his youthful mushroom-rustling misadventures 🙂
I feel like sniffers/truffle hunters would also be highly prized by Hobbits. Because FOOD. Also sheepdogs. They would LOVE smart, intuitive, sheepdogs. Oh. So. Much.
idk about Dwarves! Perhaps burrowers or ratters? I feel like they would admire the go-get-em spirit of terriers. Also, a lot of Dwarf settlements seem to end up by rivers/the sea: perhaps they like water-dogs and fishing dogs such as spaniels! Which would be sorta awesome.
I wonder if it was the ancient Numenoreans who bred the fancy show dogs. It feels like the sort of thing the Numenoreans might do. Their mutt descendants might still be sniffing around Gondor, the carefully-purebred traits and characteristics all but erased.
There’s some ideas, Nonnie! Hope you like em.
I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse ‘applicability’ with ‘allegory’; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author.
Oh cripes. I’ve been mulling this over in the back of my head all day. This is a real puzzler, Nonnie. But thank you so much for asking!
Basically, it comes down to two possibilities:
1. Fave book moment
The Glittering Caves speech, from The Two Towers. This was difficult, as there are SO many moments that make me die/cry/laugh on the inside. I honestly can’t overstate HOW MUCH i love the Scouring of the Shire, for instance… or Merry and Pippin’s greeting at Isengard… or “I liked white better”, or “I go to find the sun!” – or roughly a million different Sam Gamgee moments. But for me this is the most affecting and simply beautiful writing in the whole of the brick. Tolkien doesn’t get lyrical often – his expressive moments either swing more to the “heroic saga” style (see: every speech by Aragorn ever) or to the romantically pastoral. This speech, though – it’s just. glorious, and passionate, full of joy and beauty and awe, and it soars. It is so evocative, and it just soars.
Also, this speech is the first time we hear of beauty as seen through the eyes of Dwarves, as spoken by a Dwarf – and wouldja look at that, it is the most poetic and graceful prose in the whole dang thing. 😀
(that tremolo strings motif? yup, it was absolutely the inspiration for the ending ostinato in Light on the Horizon. I want to take off into the sky, soaring into the wild – I want to fly into the goddamned sunrise EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR THIS MUSIC)
According to those early drafts published by Tolkien’s son, Trotter has basically the same badass dialogue and “I could kill you in a second” attitude as Aragorn.
Just imagine what we could have gotten:
Trotter is not some Tyrion-Lannister-style badass or axe-wielding Gimli. He’s a lil hobbit with big clumsy wooden feet and all the fighting skills of a seven-year-old who just struts around like he’s a 6-foot tall master swordsman heir of Isildur.
Like a chihuahua who believes he’s a mastiff.
Also, in that first draft he’s called “Trotter” because his wooden feet make loud “Clop-trot” sounds whenever he walks (ideal for ranger stealth missions.)
TL; DR: I need a Lord of the Rings AU where everything is the same but Strider is replaced by Trotter
well! if there IS an Oxford professor of language and linguistics somehow hidden somewhere in this shortarse skinny meatsuit, then it would be A+++ if he stopped being a freeloading moocher, and helped me pronounce some of the pieces we’re teaching our choirs this year
Tolkien eventually abandoned the idea of Dagor Dagorath, apparently! But I like it as an apocalyptic prophecy anyway – bc prophecy as a concept in itself can be a tricky and twisty thing, even in a fantasy universe. We can’t be sure of how it will play out – we dunno much of anything about it, really.
I honestly don’t know! I’d be thrilled to read a Dagor Dagorath fic, though. Everybody is BACK, and oh my goodness, that particular bitter ancient feud is still rather spicy, isn’t it. The leadup to the battle! Bickering! A million famous war-heroes and leaders, all trying to be in charge! Everybody having to work under the lead of the Valar – lmao, oh of course, and no Elf has ever disregarded what the Valar say, ever. /sarcasm
And Morgoth’s Extra Extra-ness, everywhere you look. Just him and his fortresses and his “got anything more gloomy or doomy?” naming schemes and his mega-monsters of gargantuan evillll and his AVALANCHES OF PETTINESS – because he MUST tear down the mountains again. bc Aule remade them, so naturally he does. Godlike toddler kicking down sandcastles much
also he has a new rule, and it is No Elvish Singing Allowed.
(and no naptimes, either)
And afterwards, too! All those Dwarves busily rebuilding Arda, the Elves asking each other, ‘wtf you’re back? but weren’t you dead just last week?’
Meanwhile, Mandos regrets experimenting in prophecy. Now he’s out of a job.
tolkien: dwarves aren’t so bad (as long as u dont expect too much of them)…. i mean they are definitively Not The Heroes but i suppose they have a right to exist??
me: anyway im constructing a museum to commemorate dwarvish culture bc they’re Better Than Elves and i would marry every single one of them.
like look at Smaug, look at his ears, DON’T YOU JUST WANT TO SCRATCH BEHIND HIS EARS AND TELL HIM HE’S A GOOD BOY
and look at this guy, I guess he’s supposed to be ferocious but it looks more like “whoa man chill out, I’m just saying that those shoes with that helmet was maybe not the greatest fashion decision, just a little friendly advice, no need to get defensive.”
THIS LITTLE BB ALL CURLED UP AND TAKIN’ A NAP
I want this one to live in my pocket and be my sassy talking dragon sidekick
SO SMILEY!! “gonna go terrorize some helpless villagers aw yiss”
Aw Yiss 