Tag: tolkien

lazytechsupport:

katobleps:

lesbianrey:

hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye

cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean

tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it

cs lewis: they fucking suck

tolkien: thats not constructive criticism

cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion
tolkien: Furry
cs lewis: blocked

Sooooo does it count as canon that sindarin elves wear boots with pointy toes like santa’s elves (regarding: tolkien’s drawing of beleg)

omfg, please please let it be so 

(CELEBORN, THRANDUIL AND LEGOLAS WITH WEE WILLIE WINKIE SHOES, pls and thank)

The painting in question, for those who haven’t seen it – Beleg finds Gwindor in the forest of Taur-nu-Fuin, by JRR Tolkien. 

And here’s a close-up of Beleg:

image

Those shoes are p fierce. 

If you could change (or delete) just ONE sentence in all of Lord of the Rings and/or The Hobbit, what would it be, and why? (And if you change it, what would you change it to?)

AUGHAGSKJAHSFGJHGA so DIFFICULT

um.

Okay, I had a good think about this. My first inclination was to change something plot-wise (BOROMIR LIVES, THORIN LIVES, DENETHOR DROPS THE PALANTIR DOWN THE LAVVY EARLY IN THE TALE AND SO ALL THAT SHIT NEVER GOES DOWN, etc etc). But then I remembered something in particular.

So here it is, the line I would change. From ‘Battle of the Pelennor Fields’.

He now was destroyed; but Gothmog the lieutenant
of Morgul had flung them into the fray; Easterlings with axes,
and Variags of Khand, Southrons in scarlet, and out of Far
Harad black men like half-trolls with white eyes and red
tongues.

TBH, this is only one example of violent and derogatory description towards POC in the books. It’s far from the only one. And I would change that. I’d change all of them, if I were able.

I would turn it into this:

He now was destroyed; but Gothmog the lieutenant of Morgul had flung them into the fray; Easterlings with axes, and Variags of Khand, Southrons in scarlet, and out of Far Harad black men came with bright eyes and proud steps. 

Because we must be better than that, Professor. 

Thrandy will get Leggy back for that diary incident on his begetting day ‘ ah my beloved son,meany years ago on this day your mother and I laid as one and blessed you into the world’ ‘Ada i-‘ ‘it was a very passionate affair if i recall correctly’ ‘Ada i’m sorry please st-‘ ‘in fact it was meany passionate affairs that night’ ‘OH VALAR I BEG YOU STOP!’ but he dose not,the whole day is this.

oh my GOD

OH

GOD

Nonnie, you know something

this is reminding me that Elves do not in fact celebrate their birthdays, they celebrate their conception instead

and so, once a year, Thranduil would have done this. Once a year. ONCE A YEAR

“…SO THAT WAS THE SIXTEENTH TIME, AND NO LUCK. BUT THEN THE SEVENTEENTH TIME, YOU WERE MADE AND IT WAS SO JOYOUS, SO BEAUTIFUL. WE WERE UPSIDE DOWN IN A TREE AT THE TIME, THERE WAS WHIPPED CREAM AND GLITTER GLUE EVERYWHERE. I’D BROUGHT THE CLOTHESPEGS AND SPATULA, AND YOUR MOTHER WAS-”

“Auugh, Adar, please. STOP.”

“MANY HAPPY RETURNS, ION-NIN!!!”

(ONCE

A

YEAR)

I hope you don’t mind me sharing a new headcanon. I found this quote from HoME: “Morgoth’s power was disseminated throughout Gold, if nowhere absolute (for he did not create Gold) it was nowhere absent.” So now I have it in my head that the whole hoard of Erebor, apart from having been brooded on by a dragon, is a heap of tiny Morgoth particles. And so Thorin wasn’t “just” battling goldsickness, but leftover bits of Morgoth himself. Makes him even more awesome for recovering in the end, right?

Whoa, that’s… whoa. 

So, let me get this straight: Dragon, created by Morgoth (we think) that broods on gold, spreading its nasty dragony influence all over the place like dragon dandruff 

Gold which Morgoth was able to use as a conduit for his power (wow, laying the parable down thick and obvious there, Professor), thus amplifying the nasty of the dragon dandruff

and all the while a shiny bit of bling that Morgoth’s #1 dude Sauron made is chilling in a nearby Hobbit’s pocket. 

Christ on a crutch.

Fuck yes, Thorin’s awesome and fortitude should be screamed from the skies.

it only makes sense that Elves are all secretly attracted to Dwarrows because what do elves find most attractive? nice hair, who has the most nice hair? Dwarrows! check and mate. why settle for a nice head of hair when you can have a nice everywhere of hair is all i’m saying.

a nice everywhere of hair

ohhhh my GOD,though, because Tolkien LOVED describing hair, lovedlovedloved it, it was always ‘river of gold/silver/mithril’ touched with moonlight or starshine or Telperion’s dew or something or other

can you imagine

“The glossy forests nestled in the smooth curve of his underarm, shining with the warmth of copper and bronze and the memory of fire…”

The argument could be made,if we go by Jackson movies canon, that Mirkwood elves are much more lax on gender roles then other elves and men, since they seem to allow women to serve in the military or at the very least the Elven guard something we don’t really see other elves and men doing.

Urgh, this one is subject to some discussion, Nonnie! I just remembered this essay, and the fab blog askmiddleearth has some analysis here as well. 

I seem to remember too that there was some discussion at the time about Elf women fighting at Helm’s Deep in the films (not the Arwen deleted stuff, but that some of the Lothlorien Elves/extras etc were of the Lady persuasion). I could be wrong, it was a while ago!

but! Tolkien specifically says this: There are, however, no matters which among the Eldar only a ner can think or do, or others which only a nis is concerned. So anyone can p much do anything, and did, if their name was Luthien.