[warning for cissexism]
The Fundiegelical: “You may think you’re ‘happy’ by wearing the clothing of the opposite sex, but you’re living in sin and you’re going straight to hell! Jesus loves you.”
The “Enlightened” Liberal: “But gender doesn’t even matter, because deep down, we’re all the same. So why is it such a big deal what I call you?”
The TERF: “By embracing a gender role opposite your assigned sex, you are reifying gender/privilege and thus making it that much harder for us to smash gender. I know that sounds contradictory but, if you’d been a feminist for as long as I have, you’d understand.”
The Proto-TERF: “Of course I don’t have anything against trans people, but abortion/sex work/breast cancer/ovarian cancer/whatever is and has always been a women’s issue! Why do you want to take it away from women?”
The Ungendering Fetishist: “Hey, I don’t have anything against sh*m*les! I think you’re hot! I watch sh*m*le porn all the time.”
The Clueless Oppression-Olympian: “Transness is just a white/abled/Western issue, so why should I care about it?”
The Incrementalist: “Look, people just aren’t ready to accept trans folks yet. So instead of arguing about what pronouns to use for you, we should focus on something we can actually accomplish, like [insert other tenuously-related SJ cause here].”
The Genital-Focused: “I totally respect and support trans people, but I would never date one. Because ewww.”
The Broad-Stroke Painter: “I once met a trans person who was selfish/mean/creepy/bad in general, so you’re all like that and I won’t respect any of you.”
The Inveterate Essentialist: “But… you can’t be a woman, because you have a PENIS! And chromosomes! And… a PENIS!”
The What-About-Teh-Cis Whiner: “I know my refusal to call you ‘she’ hurts you, but you have to understand that your demand to call you ‘she’ hurts me, too. What about my feelings?”
The Pig-Headed “Skeptic”: “Do you have actual evidence that you’re really a woman? No, of course you don’t, because it’s impossible by definition. No, shut up; I’m right and you’re wrong, PERIOD.”
The “Free Speech” Whiner: “Don’t you think that, in the spirit of free and open discussion, you should listen to my side of things instead of just dismissing it out of hand as ‘bigotry’?”
The Devil’s Advocate: “I’m not saying prejudice is right, but, to be fair, it is a little weird for someone to present as a woman and yet have a penis.”
The Self-Proclaimed “Ally”: “How dare you say I’ve been cissexist? Don’t you know how very supportive I’ve been of you and your causes? Why aren’t you grateful?”
The “Edgy” Comedian: “Look, it was a joke. I’m sorry you’re too unsophisticated to understand why it’s funny; I guess I’m just too edgy for you. Maybe one day, when you grow up a little, you’ll stop trying to censor humor.”
(Hint to cis people: don’t do any of these things.)
(Hint to cis people: don’t do any of these things.)
All my cis friends in meat space do these
Even the good ones
Tag: trans issues
hey dets!! I wanted to ask you if you knew of some good tolkien fanfictions with trans characters, aside from your Sansukh and Azhar??
Hey Nonnie! I have done my best – there’s a lot more than this, I know, but for some reason my google-fu doesn’t want to co-operate with me tonight. So if anyone wishes to reblog and add some more onto the end and help the Nonnie out, that would be greatly appreciated!
(I will first say, and I will do so every time: I am cis. I have created and I write trans characters (and my word, was I ever asked about it!!!) but it would be amazingly disrespectful and arrogant of me to write about being trans or about trans issues. And so, that is why I do not.
Many of these authors are trans or nonbinary, and can write with personal understanding and experience about being trans and about trans issues. I recommend their work wholeheartedly.)
I must first rec all the fic of @thorinsmut! Also everything by @asparklethatisblue (check out The Only Thing I Ask) and also
orphan_account! And finally – check out the work of @dain-mothafocka (unfinished, but OH SO GOOOOOOD).
(pssst – Also, the Must-See person for recs is @baggvinshield – check out her amazing reclists!)
Here’s the search for trans characters for The Hobbit on AO3, and here’s the one for LOTR.
Now, for a couple of fics I have read and remember enjoying:
Green Silk and Gold Lace by Mozzarella (transwoman Bilbo)
This Feeling That Remains by khazadqueen (ama)
A Tale of Two Drivers by mage_girl
The liveblogs: @reclaimeddurin and @quiterespectablyyours (nonbinary Kili!)
Again, anybody out there with any recs for the lovely Nonnie, please don’t hesitate to add them onto this post! Thank you so much!
I have a question, and I’ve been agonizing over how to ask this without sounding like a jerk. I recall during one of the chapters (pretty sure it was chapter 30-something, but I’ve just started re-reading it again, so don’t quote me) Vili accidentally calls Dwerís ‘Lady’ or something like that and they correct him and have him call them ‘Warrior’. Do you think Dwalin and Balin called them a gender-neutral term for their parent rather than ‘Amad’?
Awww, Nonnie, this is an area that I expect is different for each person and/or Dwarf. Some NB Dwarves who are parents might prefer just to be called ‘parent’? Some may prefer ‘Amad’ or ‘Mum’.
Bear in mind please, that I am cis. My thoughts will not address the full nuance of this discussion, and I shouldn’t be taken as an authority AT ALL on this issue. Dweris is my character, sure, but she’s fictional. I would be honoured to take a back-seat to a NB person who has lived this situation, if they feel comfortable speaking about it.
I hope and believe that a Dwarf (or in our own world, any person) can be a mother, and NOT a woman. Because otherwise we start to enter into horrible role and gender stereotypes – or we start reducing the concept of ‘motherhood’ to ‘person who gives birth’ – and that way lies bigotry and bio-essentialism, and casts negative aspersions on the validity of a whole lot of adopting parents and trans people and more.
When it comes to my character of Dweris, however, she is a NB Dwarf who uses she/her pronouns, who dislikes the word ‘Amad’… but she likes the Westron colloquialisms ‘Mum’ or ‘Ma’. She is a mum, she’s Balin and Dwalin’s mum and she loves to be their mum and freely chooses to inhabit that role… but she’s not a Dwarrowdam. If we wanted to get right into the nitty-gritty of her gender identity, we could call her agender with a slight demigender bias.
But yeah, she’s a warrior, first and foremost. Warrior Dweris!
I’ve been questioning my gender a lot lately, mostly leaning towards being a boy, but I had run into this one rather big problem. I love my initials, like seriously adore because they do this special thing and I could not come up with a SINGLE FREAKING NAME that resonated with me but stared with a V. Not one. I am not kidding you not a single one sounded right to me. Until I read Sansûkh. I have checked, and checked and CHECKED elven names (a, because I’m a huge Tolkien dork and b, because my-)
II – second name is elvish already (yes my parents are also huge Tolkien dorks). I couldn’t find one. Not one felt quite right. Then I read Sansûkh. Admittedly it took me a few months before I realized there was one staring me in the freakin’ face this whole time! Silly me, I hadn’t even considered looking among the other races of Middle Earth. And that is the story of how you helped me discover the name I am now trying out, Víli. Thanks, really. Even if Víli didn’t have that particular name-
III – Sansûkh alone probably would have made me think to look among the dwarven daylight names. Ah, and this is a lot longer than I intended it to be. Anyway, thank you so much and sorry if you got this part already, my computer’s bugging.
*hugs* Glad I could help in any way, Nonnie. I wish you everything wonderful in the world! You’re awesome, Vili.
i’m tired of having to misgender myself for paperwork
Actually, they’re asking what gender were you born with. This helps them to know what diseases and sicknesses you are most likely prone to get~! Some of these can be very lethal or serious, however, and so it is much better to tell them the information. It would be okay to write your preferred gender in a little note beside your answer, but please, please do tell them what you were born as!
I am concerned for everyone’s safety who does this u-u~<3
Thank you for listening, and I hope you consider this~~~! c:
This is the first time I’ve seen someone make this correction without being rude or condescending so thank you friend
@homestuckitten i appreciate you trying to defend binarist forms but really. basically everything youve said is incorrect and doing the whole uwu~~~~ thing is actually condescending and infantalising
“gender you were born with” is a very problematic phrase. ppl arent born with a gender; infants have no concept of gender identity and it implies that every trans person’s gender has changed which may not be the case (although some trans ppl view that as being their situation which is fine, but isnt a catch-all).
if it means to ask ‘the gender you were assigned at birth’. there are a lot of other ways of phrasing it that arent inherently transphobic and generally problematic – referring to it as ‘gender assigned at birth’ is a very easy change from simply ‘gender’. if someone asks my gender, im going to say the gender i identify as. im lucky in some respects bc my gender is binary enough that i can feel mostly comfortable in ticking one binary box. for a lot of other nonbinary people this isnt the case. if theyre going to ask ‘gender’ they should give options other than male or female.
also?? wrt to trans people whove undergone medical transition, what relevance does their assigned gender have? if “biological sex” is based on the five main aspects (chromosomes, hormones, genitals, secondary sex characteristics, and reproductive organs) then how do you classify trans people who have undergone all medical transition available? currently it’s impossible to change chromosomes but the other four can be changed through surgery and hormone replacement therapy. at that point, why does someones assigned gender matter? speaking purely from a medical side, what would matter would be these five aspects so if thats what theyre interested in, they need to actually ask for that.
this is all only taking into account medical paperwork. in any other area, asking for assigned gender is not only illegal but completely irrelevant. so yeah forms really shouldnt be restricted to just male and female.
I have to pick male or female in order to get a fucking library card. I have to pick male or female in order to sign up for academic mailing lists. I have to pick male or female to study at my university. I have to pick male or female to buy tickets to a concert.
Even for medical shit my actual gender will give a dr way more information than my assigned gender and if they want more detail THEY CAN ASK
experimenting w gender identity is always something to be encouraged. transness is not a precious commodity. it’s not something u can appropriate. and even if u discover that you’re actually cis, that you feel most comfortable as a cis boy or girl, exploring gender will always teach u something new and important about yourself.
you’re not a “transtrender” if u aren’t or haven’t always been completely confident in your transness. u and your identity are 1000% valid.
Aw Yiss 