Hey Nonnie!

Welp, as you mentioned, this is a personal identification. And so others will not necessarily use this same definition.

I think of bisexuality as = attraction to same gender + other genders. And of pansexuality as attraction to all genders? I guess. there is overlap, obviously.

So, same gender, for me, is those who identify as women. But I can and have also been attracted in the past to those who identify as men, and those who are nonbinary, agender or genderfluid. It’s not an either/or thing for me.

I use the word ‘bisexual’ rather than ‘pansexual’ because that word has been a part of me for so long now. It really is very enmeshed with my identity – as me. All the bits of me that very much inform my sense of who I am: white, cis, female, Australian, musician, dork, bisexual.

I like that conversation myself!! I try to bring it up when I can. It’s a good one to have!

I have seen? An argument somewhere/somewhen that said something along the lines of ‘people identify as bisexual until they know better/have learned more, and then they know to call themselves pansexual’. That honestly may be the case for many, but not for me. I learned to understand myself a long time ago, I have made the word ‘bisexual’ part of me 15 years ago. I have been ‘bi’ for nearly half my life. So to dismiss the word I use to describe a massive part of my sense of self as ‘unlearned’ is a bit hurtful, tbh?

Aaaaanyway, there’s a bit of a rambly answer, Nonnie! I hope it helps you. Basically, I think the word you use will have its own meaning, interpretation and impact upon your identity and interactions – that’s why we choose them, I guess! Be it bisexuality or pansexuality, the choice to name that aspect of yourself is totally up to you and how you feel. Like they say: you’re the only expert on your feelings!