With Maglor as Freddie Mercury? YUP
DJs Osse and Uinen host ME’s version of Countdown/MTV/Top of the Pops.
also how how how did I forget the neon omfg, fluoro everywhere, everything looking like a packet of highlighters threw up on it
Dwalin didn’t take it far enough, imho. I am talking pins through noses and eyebrows, the tightest jeans that ever jeaned (high-waisted, naturally), ripped sleeveless tees with offensive cirth scrawled all over them, beards that have been gelled into spikes, leather leather LEATHER, boots with chains all over them, studs and badges EVERYWHERE.
There ought to be a band that writes angry socio-political songs like ‘Thranduil FUCK YOU’ a la punk rock Maggie Thatcher protest songs. (Bofur totally becomes the Dwarvish Billy Bragg.)
YAAAS.
Ooooh – good question, Nonnie! Hmm, I haven’t come up with anything as yet… perhaps the ravens manage to get into the Halls? I’m not sure!
Hi there Nonnie!
Ooooh, okay. Well, here are my ideas.
I think that Bilbo was more than a little exasperated, with himself AND with Thorin, tbh. It’s one of Bilbo’s default positions, in my head: something happens, I SHALL BE IRRITATED ABOUT IT. THERE SHALL BE GRUMBLING. ALSO MUTTERING.
His little attraction was inconvenient and impossible and completely ill-advised, and furthermore the Dwarf in question was intolerably rude. Oh, Baggins, you have to get a grip on yourself not like that and focus on the matter in hand also not like that. There are far more important things to deal with!
Now, if only the dratted Dwarf would stop… looking like that. Utterly insupportable.
Later, of course, after Bilbo had proven himself and after Thorin had learned to appreciate the odd prim little creature he had dragged into the wilds, Bilbo did a lot of scolding himself. You’re friends now. Friends! No – no don’t smile at me, you dratted… oh botheration. Friends. It’s not appropriate. You’re a Hobbit, a Baggins of Bag End. Comport yourself as one!
Oh, confusticate him!
Later still, Bilbo was just worried. Very worried. Worry worry worry. He also does a good line in fretting.
I don’t think he even hoped for so much as a relationship. It was a bothersome little secret all of his own. If he let his eyes linger now and then, it was his own business and nobody else’s. If he hovered close to hear that lovely voice, well, he wasn’t the only one who worried, was he?
I don’t think he ever considered what would happen if everything had turned out for the best. He still wanted his own home, after all: his books, his garden, his armchair, his fireplace, his kettle whistling merrily on the stove. It was only after he came back to them that he found that they were not quite as he remembered.
I don’t think he would have stayed in Erebor. Balin would probably have died of mortification if anyone had suggested making Bilbo a diplomat. I mean, Bilbo is learned and clever, and terribly terribly brave – but patient he is not. Also, he says some truly spectacular gaffes now and then. (The ‘Furrier’ comment springs to mind. Also – a gentlehobbit talking to Bard and the Elvenking in a proper, haughty Shire business manner – like he is a debtor. !!!)
And of course, Thorin was meant to be King. Thorin was meant to have a home, the Dwarves were meant to belong somewhere at long last. Bilbo wouldn’t have dreamed of interfering with that.
Absolutely impossible, all of it.
(Yes, we are definitely seeing more of our evasive private and prickly old Hobbit’s POV! He’s too much fun to write!)
Thank you again, Nonnie 🙂
Thanks, Nonnie! I have found and reblogged some serious gems, I am really glad you got a giggle or two out of them!
Hi Nonnie!
I do enjoy that idea. I haven’t used it, obviously, but it is one that I like a lot. I know that Tolkien said something along the lines of keeping the female Dwarves in the Mountains etc, but my own prejudices and inclinations don’t much line up with that! It seems oppressive and isolating and controlling to me. I dislike the total invisibility of anything other than the male Dwarves, so I made my horde of Dwarrowdams. But I do also enjoy stories where one or more of the Company is female, be they cis, trans or other.
I particularly like the idea that perhaps Dwarves have a different concept of gender and gender identity than the other races. dain-mothafocka has some truly awesome ideas on Orocarni dwarf gender. Tolkien DOES say that female Dwarves are basically indistinguishable from the boys, too. So I think – why not? Bilbo wouldn’t have been able to tell just by looking at them, their culture is not his (and tbh, unless they say so explicitly to him, it’s not his business).
(I see Ori or Kili written as female most often: myself, I would LOVE to see more AUs where it is Gloin and/or Bifur. Mama Bear and badass berserker vegetarian, yes please!)
Hey Nonnie!
No sorry, I didn’t get it! Thank you for re-sending, hoo boy, that’s a tough question.
I think? That it was not a fast change, as with Thorin in BOTFA. I think that the obsession came upon Thror slowly, creeping over him bit by bit (and always urged on by that terrible and insidious force he carried upon his finger.) It would have been a very gradual change, over years and years. And many, not even those closest to Thror, could have pinpointed when it really began.
Hrera has pride that you can break diamonds upon. And so when she recognised that Thror was acting a little unlike himself now and then, she held her head high and continued on. He was still affectionate with her, he still played with his grandchildren and kissed her each morning and sat obediently to have his hair and beard braided. So it couldn’t be that serious, surely.
Perhaps he was simply stressed. He had been King for a very long time. Hrera made an effort to lift his workload.
To her unhappy surprise, he spent what little time she managed to buy him in the treasury.
Others began to give the King worried looks. But Hrera stared them down, and made a redoubled effort to bring Thror’s attention back to where it had always firmly been: with his family and people.
To her absolute dismay, the change in his behaviour wasn’t even precipitated by some random greediness. He would mumble about his wandering childhood, about protection and security. “We need enough to keep us all fed,” he would say, “from the smallest child to the eldest greybeard! Thranduil’s arrogance is endless, as is his jealousy. He only wishes us ill: he knows nothing of what we have endured. We will never be powerless again!”
It was with a sinking horror that Hrera realised that the dragon’s illness had gained a foothold in her husband through one of his most laudable traits: his love of his people.
He could still be drawn out by little Dis now and then, or by Thrain. He still sat and had his hair braided every morning. But his eyes travelled to the Arkenstone when he should have been paying attention to the day’s business, and his hand clenched and unclenched upon the arm of the throne as the anxiety and urgency washed over him in huge waves.
By that time, whispers circulated everywhere. Hrera made a mammoth effort to protect her family, particularly her youngest grandchildren, from being affected. But Thorin, who was older, noticed. Thorin saw everything, and heard the unkindest whispers.
Hrera was still Hrera, however. She lifted her chin, and carried on.
(and reached for the cold side of their bed every night, longing for Thror to come back from that golden gleam to see the love and fear and worry in her eyes.)
Hey Nonnie,
Yeah, that’s a really good idea. I normally do that for the really long answers, but I guess I’ll do it for all of them. Thank you.
Idk, I have been blue about this for most of today. I feel pretty singled-out, tbh. I don’t think it’s very fair that my headcanons have to be placed under a cut when other fan writers/artists/whatever don’t have to bother. And it makes me wonder: Will I have to do that for say, one-sentence answers? Will I have to do that for everything? But if it makes people happy, I’ll do it.
Someone else suggested that I write up an FAQ and make a tags-list, and I’ll get onto that tomorrow.
I really? don’t much like the term BNF. It smacks of self-aggrandizement and it comes with so many negative connotations: a history of bullying and awfulness and fandom wank. I don’t want any of that. I’m just a fan. I’m just a fan, like any other fan, and I want to be able to do as fans do – make up stories and ideas and think aloud now and then – in the fandoms I enjoy, without hurting others. I really try not to do that. I REALLY do.
Probably going to take a break from tumblr for a while, everyone. To those who have sent me support and ideas: thank you so much.
(OHGOSH I THOUGHT YOU MEANT SHIPPING THEM AT FIRST WHOOPS HAHAHAHA)
Arrrrrgh. ARRRRGH. *hugs them all* Auuuuuuugh.
Also Faramir. (Tolkien seems to have a thing for replacing the putative heirs. Meanie.)
Awww, they SO are.
I absolutely believe that the vast, VAST majority of Dwarves are hugely loving and devoted spouses and parents. With the (compared to Men and Hobbits!) rarity of Dwarven children, it seems likely to me that they would be utterly doolally for their sprogs. Each little one would be the most precious gift, the most wonderful blessing.
I… may have just written a Dwarven cradle-song, haaaa I am brimful of Dwarven parent-child feelings!
Ah, I’m really glad, Nonnie. I know it was a very aggressive rebuttal, but the information was sound, and it’s always a good thing to remind myself that oppression, colonialisation and even institutionalised prejudice does not always look the same in different areas of the world. As an Australian, it looks a very different way here, and our history and politics of racism and oppression do not universally translate. I am glad to know more about the world, about European and Scandinavian history, and about awesome Finland!
I hope you have a wonderful day too, Nonnie!
Aw Yiss 