meetthedamerons:

determamfidd:

dain-mothafocka:

Tag yourself as new characters from Sansukh I’m the singing eagle.

i’m Reggie the squirrel 🙂

#we can blame tolkien for the existence of singing eagles 😀 I just really wanna know how to write music that sounds LIKE EAGLES (via @determamfidd)

well, the ‘murican in me wants to say eagles sound like ~!**FREEDOM**!~, but realistically, they all just kind of sound like squeaky toys.

*begins composing for helium-balloon voice and orchestra*

omniship-armada:

sarah-lou-who:

koobaxion:

jncos:

straightallies:

jncos:

straightallies:

jncos:

jncos:

i bought some underwear from k-mart today and i kind of wish we had the dystopic k-marts you see in america

i want to shop here

What do your k-marts look like then

is that fucking real omfg. It’s so clean

it varies a little from store to store but basically

American hell Kmart’s are PvP enabled zones it’s like the “The Purge” of capitalism

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE FANCY KMARTS?!?!?!?! THAT’S NOT HOW KMART WORKS

it only makes sense that Elves are all secretly attracted to Dwarrows because what do elves find most attractive? nice hair, who has the most nice hair? Dwarrows! check and mate. why settle for a nice head of hair when you can have a nice everywhere of hair is all i’m saying.

a nice everywhere of hair

ohhhh my GOD,though, because Tolkien LOVED describing hair, lovedlovedloved it, it was always ‘river of gold/silver/mithril’ touched with moonlight or starshine or Telperion’s dew or something or other

can you imagine

“The glossy forests nestled in the smooth curve of his underarm, shining with the warmth of copper and bronze and the memory of fire…”

No. Do you want to know how done I am right now? Because I’ll tell you. I have walked all over this Mahaldamned earth, I nearly froze to death, on more than one occasion I almost got eaten, Durin’s Fucking Bane almost set me on fucking fire, I got to go on the world’s worst cross country marathon, human politics nearly got me locked up, I just had the worst night ever, AND NOW THERE ARE FUCKING EYES IN THE FUCKING TREES, LEGOLAS, DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITED I WOULD BE TO NEVER THINK OF THAT AGAIN?

incorrecttolkienquotes:

Gimli, to Legolas, book III of The Lord of the Rings, chapter VIII

postmodernismruinedme:

Things that crack me up about Legolas:

  • Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he’s at the very most a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He’s the youngest elf that we know about in that time period. ARWEN is older than him. He’s creeped out by Fangorn being so old but he calls all mortals children because he’s a little shit.
  • Tolkien would get super pissed off when Legolas was shown in illustrations as “pretty or lady-like” and insisted that he was the biggest, roughest, toughest of the elves and the most hardcore of the Fellowship. Legolas is like the freaking Schwarzenegger of the elves, nbd.
  • Best friend is a dwarf whose father was literally imprisoned by Legolas’ father and yet he still brought him to the Undying Lands for the most awkward family reunion because screw you Thranduil. And let me remind you that a) Gimli is the only, only dwarf who got to make the trip and Legolas invited him. Other people had to get permission from like the literal Valar and Legolas was like I want to bring my mortal bff yeah he wasn’t a ringbearer but whatevs. Also b) most of the people who left in TA 3201 went on like these fleets of beautiful vessels with a master shipbuilder but Legolas was like nope, going to build one myself, never built one before but it can’t be that hard, right?
  • While Sindarin is the most common Elvish language by the time Legolas is alive, it’s considered really ugly and and unrefined, but here Legolas is running around probably not even able to speak the language of his ancestors, and I imagine him super proud of what must sound like an awful accent to his people.
  • Also super explains how useless he was at Moira trying to decipher the door because he doesn’t have time to deal with those snobs.
  • All the Fellowship got useful gifts or ones with spiritual meaning but instead Galadriel was like no, Legolas, I’m going to give you this big ass bow that’s bigger than the Mirkwood ones and it’s going to be so sick yeah it’s like taller than you are BUT ITS GOING TO LOOK SO SWEET.

mutisija:

friendly reminder that sauron is not even nearly as cool as lotr made him look like:

once he literally laughed evil villain laugh at his evil plan so hard that he didnt notice that the entire island was sinking into water and his body ended up drowning. he had to make new body out of anger.