(heh, I have no leg to stand on when it comes to angst, Nonnie!)
Stonehelm (very quickly): THIS IS CUPCAKE, SHE’S REALLY GENTLE AND SWEET AND IT’LL BE A REALLY EASY RIDE, WE’LL GO REALLY SLOWLY AND YOU’LL LIKE IT BOMFRIS, PLEASE, SHE’S SO CUTE AND REALLY GOOD-NATURED AND I PROMISE IT’LL BE FUN
Tuac: You’re seriously not going up on that thing, are you? It’s obviously part-walrus.
So @determamfidd and her hilariously adorable portrayal of Galion in Sansukh did the unthinkable- finally inspired me, after over a
year, to write a fanfic drabble. *GASP* *dramatic drumroll*
So, my plot bunny- After
Galion’s first encounter with Dorwinion wine, Legolas and Tauriel have to half
drag, half carry him home.
BAAAAHAHAHAHA oh gosh, this is hilarious – I am feeling for Tauriel rn, surrounded by these goobs ❤ His FIRST encounter with dorwinion – goodness knows, it isn’t his last :DDD
Beautifully written and absolutely hilarious. This is awesome! ashdgfjashfd aaaah thank you SO SO SO much!
Slimarillion– a Noldo’s guide to trimming down after the holidays
Maehrdos– we just don’t know
Angbang– OKAY NO I ACTUALLY MEANT THE FORTRESS THIS TIME
Slimearil– can’t hold on to them for nothin’
Ole– the fiesta elf
Meagli– son of Ole, adopted by jungle creatures
Magline– same character, this time living in paris with twelve little girls in two straight lines
Fignolfin– a type of depressing cookie found exclusively in your parents’ kitchen because they’re “healthy”
Aluë– know to the dwarves as “fucking hell I have to type that umlaut again”
Meklor– a durable, non-stick surface
I often write Fingolgin
–
Very high king of the Noldor, keeper of the secret Noldorin liquor which keeps you warm during your long walks on the ice.
Thorin: You strike me as an unusual Hobbit, Master Baggins.
Bilbo: Well, yes, I guess that would be the Took side of me. Tooks have got a bit of a reputation you see. Adventures, and such. When my mother married a Baggins there was quite the talk.
Thorin: Interesting. I thought perhaps that there would be some Dwarf in you.
Bilbo: Dwarf? Oh, no. No I don’t think so.
Thorin: Would you like some?
HOW VERY DARE YOU CAST ASPERSIONS UPON MY STRAYAN-NESS
JUST FOR THAT, MY MOST WONDROUS OF REBELS, I HAVE FUCKING PHOTOBLOGGED THE MAKING AND EATING OF VEGEMITE TOAST
FIRST. GET YOUR TOAST.
this is the multigrain variation of this fine dish, purchased from my local bakery (who DO A FAB CHEESYMITE SCROLL TYVFM AND NO THEY’RE NOT BAKERS DELIGHT EITHER)
then get your essentials:
THE STUFF.
Toast is done. Get butter happening.
LOTS OF BUTTER.
Then get into that salty umami happiness pot:
fuck, I’m almost out. Time to sacrifice a wombat, I guess
(just joking of course, ahahahaha*)
NEXT. SPREAD THAT VEGEMITE ONTO THE TOAST. NOT THICKLY. This is not fucking nutella, your tongue will be scorched land and you will taste nothing but salt for decades if you spread it on like nutella. THINLY. You wanna see butter in places.
(hopefully your bread isn’t as fresh and liable to fucking tear as mine…)
Now. Eat that wonderful goddamned black gold, savoury and buttery and warm and fucking delicious, all the while secure in the knowledge that there is now a rose in your every cheek (yes, we know, we know, the mental image is hilarious).
It is at this point that you will be forced to fight any opportunistic bastard walking into the kitchen who says, “oh, is that vegemite on toast?” They want your second slice. DO NOT GIVE IN. They make their own, dammit. This one’s yours.
FUCK YOU GAZZA, IT’S MY TOAST
This concludes the lesson (and the snack).
(* We really sacrifice a roo.)
HAPPY AUSTRALIA AND/OR INVASION DAY, YA BASTARDS.
Reblogging our national cuisine in honour of the occasion. 🙂
HOW VERY DARE YOU CAST ASPERSIONS UPON MY STRAYAN-NESS
JUST FOR THAT, MY MOST WONDROUS OF REBELS, I HAVE FUCKING PHOTOBLOGGED THE MAKING AND EATING OF VEGEMITE TOAST
FIRST. GET YOUR TOAST.
this is the multigrain variation of this fine dish, purchased from my local bakery (who DO A FAB CHEESYMITE SCROLL TYVFM AND NO THEY’RE NOT BAKERS DELIGHT EITHER)
then get your essentials:
THE STUFF.
Toast is done. Get butter happening.
LOTS OF BUTTER.
Then get into that salty umami happiness pot:
fuck, I’m almost out. Time to sacrifice a wombat, I guess
(just joking of course, ahahahaha*)
NEXT. SPREAD THAT VEGEMITE ONTO THE TOAST. NOT THICKLY. This is not fucking nutella, your tongue will be scorched land and you will taste nothing but salt for decades if you spread it on like nutella. THINLY. You wanna see butter in places.
(hopefully your bread isn’t as fresh and liable to fucking tear as mine…)
Now. Eat that wonderful goddamned black gold, savoury and buttery and warm and fucking delicious, all the while secure in the knowledge that there is now a rose in your every cheek (yes, we know, we know, the mental image is hilarious).
It is at this point that you will be forced to fight any opportunistic bastard walking into the kitchen who says, “oh, is that vegemite on toast?” They want your second slice. DO NOT GIVE IN. They make their own, dammit. This one’s yours.
FUCK YOU GAZZA, IT’S MY TOAST
This concludes the lesson (and the snack).
(* We really sacrifice a roo.)
Here’s some of Elrond’s dad in a bottle. Do good, kid.
the Lady Galadriel, to Frodo, The Lord of the Rings book II (via incorrecttolkienquotes)
Aw Yiss 