Has Laerophen had much to do with Erebor’s pigs? Did Dain cheerfully introduce him to his latest pet pig, going “Here, meet Coffeebean,” and so Laerophen is petting a giant pig. Getting licked by said pig and not mentioning it because of politeness.

(omfg Coffeebean is a great name for a pig, I love it)

hahahahahahaha!!! Oh, Laerophen would go into Awkward Giraffe mode in seconds, it would be stupendous. PIG. MASSIVE PIG. BE POLITE. IT’S LICKING YOUR ARM. WHAT DO. IDK, SMILE DISTANTLY AND POLITELY AND TRY NOT TO LOOK TOO UNCOMFORTABLE IN FRONT OF BEAMING DWARF KING.

Donald Trump’s hair was forged in the fires of Mt. Doom, and only there can it be destroyed.

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

starkiller-rx:

facts-i-just-made-up:

“And into this hair he poured all his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.“

Three Mohawks for the smooth-haired Elves under the clouds,
Seven Dreadlocks for the Dwarf-lords with their beards of stone,
Nine Mullets for Mortal Men doomed to go bald,
One Toupee for the Trump Lord on his Trump Throne
In the Land of New York where the Trump Tower lie.
One Hairdo to rule them all, One Hairdo to fire them,
One Hairdo to build a wall, and beyond the frontier bind them,
In the Land of New York where the Trump Tower lie.

Our enemy is ready, his full strength gathered. Not only republicans, but undecided voters
as well: legions of racists from the south, tea partiers from the coast.
All will answer Trump’s call.

Confirmed.

aprilllludgate:

i thought i would list some of The Best les mis quotes okay here goes

  • “being thus ironical and bald, he was the leader”
  • “beware! his hair filled with wrath, is epic”
  • “brushing one’s teeth is at the top of a ladder whose bottom is the loss of one’s soul”
  • “they amused themselves with puns which were considered terrible”
  • “mathematically!”
  • “to stray is human. to saunter is parisian”
  • “‘by the way, have you any political opinions?’ ‘the idea!’”
  • “mabeuf’s political opinion consisted of a passionate love for plants”
  • “i have just met marius’ new hat and new coat, with marius inside them”
  • “a leg of exquisite shape appeared. marius saw it. he was exasperated and furious.”
  • “‘that’s a queer fish.’ she replied ‘he’s a saint’”
  • “‘what a dentist!’ he cried”
  • “we get on well together, my coat and i”
  • “the oysters are spoiled, the servants are ugly. i hate the human race.”
  • “comrades, we shall overthrow the government as true as there are fifteen intermediary acids between margaric and formic acid”
  • “joly, perceiving a cat prowling on a gutter, extracted philosophy from it”
  • “it is immoral that a mattress should have so much power”
  • “glory to the mattress…!”
  • “my cake tires me”
  • “‘adorable!’ he exclaimed. then he blew his nose nosily”
  • “‘but you ought to have a maid.’ ‘have i not marius?’”
  • “‘all is explained. you understand.’ cosette did not understand a word.”

Now, I’m about to do a thing, and I know this isn’t the proper way to be goin’ about it, but all dead relatives present can keep their flapping traps shut.

Gimli, from Sansûkh by @determamfidd

a.  This is how you respond when you’re aware you’re being followed around by a Dead Dwarf Peanut Gallery. 

b.   BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA Legolas’ Dwarf father in law is an ATTACK SHRUB and it is PRICELESS.

c.  I think I have something that will probably describe Thranduil once he finds out he has a Dwarf for a son in law:

image

d.  Dets, Aragorn better be best man at that wedding.

e.  Pippin has his priorities in order and I really, REALLY want a bite of those ‘shrooms.  

f.  Also, THE CLIMAX.  BILBO.  THORIN.  FRODO.  SAM.  FILI.  ALL MY BABIES!!!!!  ALL MY FEELS. 

ETA:  I seriously think someone should have the popcorn ready when the Big Reveal happens to the in-laws.  Is there popcorn in Dwarf Heaven? Mushrooms?  Something to nom on? Surely, one of the ‘Ri brothers learned their brother Dori’s mad cooking skillz….

(via darthstitch)