Dain convinces Frerin to take up pig jockeying. Kili tries to but Frerin is surprisingly good. Finally being tiny is an asset!! Frerin’s favorite pig is one named Bean, and they win a bunch of races.

BEAN THE PIG AND FRERIN ARE UNBEATABLE awwwww that’s a lovely idea, Nonnie!

(Imagine Dain trying to convince BILBO though, because small Hobbits are small laskdgflashdgfljashfda the whole Company would be giggling madly, remembering how poor a rider Bilbo was at the start…!)

Dain competing in pig shows! Pig tail curliness. Responsiveness to commands. Prettiness of coat. (Best In Show shenanigans ensue)

Blossom won best-in-show three years running, of course she did. She was just so very pretty!

Pig jockeys implies professional pig racing. Is there a dwarf Grand Prix with pigs?

*smacks table* if there isn’t then there blOODY WELL SHOULD BE.

thestraggletag:

yandereplumblossom:

amuseoffyre:

@thestraggletag …

Oh, God.

Dain totally breeds pigs in the Halls. There are other pig-friendly dwarves there, because in all the dwarves in the Halls, some of them must like pigs. They argue about breeding and training. Dain cuddles piglets and trains pigs and competes in pig shows. Pig racing. Thorin helps a bit -he makes pretty gear for pigs and feeds them a bit. Frerin also makes an excellent pig jockey maybe? Fris is like “what have you gotten my sons into?” But it makes Thrain and Thror smile. Also Thror riding a pig

This is absolutely adorable – but what is really leaping out at me is the words PIG JOCKEY

PIG JOCKEY

ohgosh, do they get brightly checkered outfits and little caps and sit with their knees pulled up high and OMFG PIG JOCKEYS

airebellah:

Watching Two Towers and I noticed at Helm’s Deep when Aragorn yells out, “Ladders!” in Sindarin, Gimli (who cannot see over the wall) says, “Good!”

… Has the bae been giving you private lessons in Elvish, Gimli?

why on Middle-Earth would Gimli have learned the Elvish word for ‘ladders’…

What if people in the Halls keep waking up with Custard in their hair? Thrain will regularly wake up with Custard using his hair as a nest, purring away. Fris has it happen sometimes. Thorin is sure that Custard thinks his hair is Best For Naps, considering how often he wakes up with a cap draped on his head. Thror goes down for a nap and finds his beard full of kittycat when he wakes up.

This would totally be the opposite of a problem, for me ~~i love cats~~

I’m fairly sure that Fili has had enough of Custard waking him by batting at his moustache, though… 😉

airebellah:

Watching Two Towers and I noticed at Helm’s Deep when Aragorn yells out, “Ladders!” in Sindarin, Gimli (who cannot see over the wall) says, “Good!”

… Has the bae been giving you private lessons in Elvish, Gimli?

littlesforfandom:

notanightlight:

peppermintfoggy:

important otp questions:

which one is like “fight me”

and which one, quietly from where the other can’t see, is like “do not touch my sweet cinnamon bun if you ever want to see the light of day again”

Gimli and Legolas. So very much.

Legolas: Fight me!

Gimli: *le sigh* Not this shit again.

But then:

Gimgims: Fight me!

Legolas: *whispering while standing behind gimgims* U tuch him and I commit murder.

captainpunkrogers:

life hack: be best friends with a slytherin. they will steal cupcakes for you from work and tell you to drop toxic people from your life with no reservations. they will be the ones ordering you to stop and breathe and call in sick, to screw your commitments if they see you’re sacrificing your mental health. they’re the ones to say “don’t you dare settle” and “you deserve better” in a ruthless, matter-of-fact tone. they’ll be the ones saying it’s okay to put yourself first, the voice you need to hear after a long day or week or month. trust me, be best friends with a slytherin.