So has anyone ever noticed that Cadbury Creme Eggs have a full fledged Fëanorian star on them?
For it is said that Fëanor began a long and secret labour, and he summoned all his lore, and his power, and his subtle skill; and at the end of all he made the Creme Eggs. As great jewels they were in form. Like orbs of richest chocolate they appeared, yet they were tastier than all others, so that no mortal could disparage or refuse them within the Kingdom of Arda. Yet that chocolate was to the Creme Eggs but as is the body to the Children of Ilúvatar: the house of its inner fire, that is within it and yet in all parts of it, and is its life. And the inner fire of the Creme Eggs Fëanor made of the blended fondant of the Sugar Canes of Valinor, whose glucose lives in them yet, though the Sugar Canes have long withered. All who dwelt in Aman were filled with wonder and delight at the work of Fëanor. – The Silmarillion, Cadbury™ Ed. 2015.
okay when I started this series I sort of assumed sauron did not actually have fans
i hadn’t been on the internet long enough, apparently
is a Maia of Aulë; that never ends well
has as many names as Túrin Turambar without the excuse of being an angsty teenager
tortures finrod’s backup singers to death in his dungeons
sinks a continent with the socratic method
sends out the werewolves one by one to fight Lúthien what
for that matter why couldn’t he figure out who finrod is without the torture? how many blonde Elven princes were there in Beleriand at the time?
there were two. finrod and orodreth. and tbh if you can’t figure out whether the Elf who just challenged you to a song duel is Finrod or Orodreth then you don’t deserve to be Melkor’s right hand
oh, yeah, chief lieutenant of the embodiment of evil there’s a case that that is problematic
(With my deepest apologies to Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss)
Can I kill my Uncle Claude? Yes, I can, I can, by God! I will kill my Uncle Claude!
Should I kill him in the house? Should I kill him while he’s soused? I could kill him here or there I could kill him anywhere Would I, could I, while he prays? Kill him! Kill him! Wherefore stay? I would not, could not, while he prays!
Not in the house, not when he’s soused, Not with his sister, now his spouse! Not while he prays, not while he feasts, O, incestuous, adulterate beast! I do not like my Uncle Claude, I do not like that bloody bawd!
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would I, could I, in the dark?
Should I kill him in his bed? Should I there strike off his head? Kill him with his nightcap on? Kill him when the churchyards yawn? Should I kill him where he lies? I will kill him, by and by! I do not like my Uncle Claude, I’ll kill him, i’ th’ name of God!
The play! The play! The play’s the thing! The thing wherein I’ll catch the king! No more ‘to be or not to be,’ I will kill him, you will see!
Kill him while he wears his crown Kill him while his guard is down
Kill him with some poisoned wine Kill him with this sword of mine
O, is the point envenomed, too? I’m dead–Horatio, adieu! But tell them, tell them, more or less, Who it was that made this mess!
I did not like my Uncle Claude, I killed him in the name of God! Good friend, report my cause aright– And now, goodnight goodnight goodnight!
Aw Yiss 